It is truly disheartening to hear mothers legitimately argue over who suffers the worse from giving birth to their baby.

I cannot fathom why women, whom all create life inside their bodies for a near 10 months, could say or even think that one is less than the other. I can say with all honesty behind my words, but giving birth in general is extremely hard and painful no matter how you look at it!

Some mothers are truly lucky for not having to go through the near amount of pain as many others do when it comes to birthing naturally. I have heard both great and horrific stories about different mothers giving birth.

I have friends and have heard of stranger’s stories of how their pregnancy and birth was a breeze. They received no pain medication, because their pain was truly tolerable and they weren’t quite sure what the fuss is with other mothers who have suffered a much more painful experience.

Other mothers suffered extreme pain, needing epidurals and suffered a vaginal vac or vaginal tearing, making their future sex life a bit unsatisfying to say none the least. Long hours of hardening labor or short painful spurts and some ending in tragic deaths.

Cesarean mothers are always the one to be put on the bottom of the totem poll. They have been told that they aren’t mothers at all, all because they weren’t able to give birth naturally.

But, what mothers who haven’t had a c-section before don’t know, is the longevity of the process from the moment they cut you open and to healing.

Sure, my husband who is an EOD Technician in the military, was completely OK with telling me how he had peeked around the side of the blue sheet that’s keeping us from seeing what’s really behind the sheet, this was after birth of course.

A few of my organs were moved around in order for them to have room to cut into my abdomen, right above my pelvic bone, to pull my 2 kids out (yes I had 2 c-sections). He was completely OK with seeing my uterus on the table. LOL.

I felt like I was going to die the first time, but not from pain, no, I couldn’t feel anything but small pinches and pressure, lots of pressure, but because I had felt something, I instantly felt sick, so they pumped even more pain meds into my IV in my arm. When they did that, I couldn’t even feel myself breathe anymore, I literally felt like I had to force myself to breathe and stay awake. I felt lethargic, but I kept holding onto my husband’s hands as he talked to me the whole time, giving me words of encouragement, rubbing my head, telling me I was doing a great job. All I could honestly think of was I needed to make it through to see my baby, no matter what. That “God” could take me, as long as I got to see my baby first, that is all I cared about in those what felt like final moments for me.

My first was born and I made it out alive and for that I couldn’t be happier than the woman in the next room whom had just given birth to her baby vaginally, we left feeling the same, accomplished, happy, thankful for making it out alive and our babies happy and healthy.

My recovery was long, much like someone with a bad vaginal birthing experience. I was fortunate enough to have a Cauterization done, so I did not suffer from multiple staples or stitches, but I was hunched over for roughly a month, couldn’t walk upstairs (even though I tried), couldn’t have a normal bowel movement and it hurt to go and hurt because the contractions to go poop hurt even worse! I couldn’t push, the muscle just wasn’t there anymore and don’t get me wrong, I was 110 pounds soaking wet when I got pregnant and muscular, so this was very frustrating to me to not even be able to go poop normally.

I couldn’t have a normal shower without being hunched over, I had to use a bottle that I could squeeze soapy water out of and used it for about a month on my c-section wound.

Top that off, I had to wear gigantic pads that went from my belly button to the top of my ass crack and granny panties, because I bled so hard vaginally. That alone lasted about a month for me.

I couldn’t do a single sit up until about 6 months. I tried before, got half ass sit-ups and an achy abdomen. When I started back into sit ups, the burn was far worse than I thought it would be, far worse than you ever felt doing normal sit-ups for the first time, a burn that lasted a few days.

And sadly, after all was done and said, I ended up with my menstrual every 2 weeks until I became pregnant for my second child. I still cannot feel my scar area, it’s been a yr. and a half since my second c-section.

My first was an emergency c-section after being a week over due, the hospital scheduled me to come in and get induced, only to be in labor for 26 hours, 22 of those hours was with an epidural after being told I needed to have it. My son couldn’t take the strong contractions from the Pitocin after 25 hours of dealing with being squeezed to death and the fact that I hadn’t even dilated at all.

His heart stopped beating and mentally mine did too. How could this happen to me? I did everything right as a mom, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I ate super healthy, and I thought to myself, “But I am a good person, this can’t be happening to me.”

That is when they rushed me in to emergency and proceeded with the procedure to save my son, THAT does not make me or any other mother who gave a c-section birth any less of a mother.

We are all mothers, we all may have suffered some traumatizing event during our labor and delivery, but that does not mean in any way we are less of a mother, if anything we are miracles!

We created life for nearly 10 months. We lost sleep, felt sick, ached all over, lost our breathe here and there, some fought medical issue’s during their pregnancies, we all walked a journey, some roads rockier than others, but we are all strong women, we are all mothers.

A mother is a loving being who loves her child, cares for her child, helps their child and raises them with the best honest ability they know how. Any woman can give birth, no matter how it is that they do so, but it takes pride and love to become a loving, helping and nourishing mother.

Do you want to know the most frustrating thing about giving a c-section birth? Is being told you can only have one more child due to scarring and procedures, because apparently it’s not recommended to have more than 3, and since my 2^nd was overdue too and due to my bad experience with my first, they skipped inducement and went straight to scheduling me for a c-section.

Now, I have a scar right above the other, yes, making that 2 deep wound scars above the pelvic bone.

I have accepted that and I am thankful for the 2 I have, because I know how hard it must be for those who cannot have any and for those children whom are awaiting to be adopted to their forever homes and all honesty, this experience has inspired me to adopt and become more fortunate to have been able to give birth to 2 healthy kids.

Please do not ever feel like you are less of something because someone feels obligated to be “Better” than you. You made it, we all made it, we are all mothers and we have been given the opportunity to continue living out this life as a mother. You are strong, don’t let anyone take that away from you.

You gave Earth the beauty of life, you created life with the tools your body came with, embrace it, you are in fact “Mother Nature,” or even a “God” in my eyes.

To educate yourselves on the Ceaesarean sections, please visit Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesarean_section

Also watch video’s on You-Tube for better visuals (viewer discretion advised): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY7jy4EJagQ

As always,

-MissRiva

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