My Spiritual Journey

For a while now, I’ve been debating on sharing intimate stories about my spiritual journey. It’s not your typical journey, and I have certainly experienced unexplained magical occurrences throughout my entire life, and I’ve decided to share some of my stories with you.
“Call me crazy because I think we are all MAD- while floating on a tiny rock in the space that surrounds us.” -Riva Gijanto

It really all started when I was a baby. Yes, that early. My mom told me this unusual story about myself when she and a few friends and a family member were conversing in the living room of our ranch style modular home. We lived in the middle of nowhere and by a paper mill. There were 9 houses on my road, all on one side, and the front and the back of our houses were massive corn fields. The front cornfield met Lake Champlain, or as some people know it by the lake in which Champ, Loch Ness Monster, or Nessie lived.

I was taking a nap in my crib in my room. As my parents were conversing, my mom heard me laughing from down the hallway and went to attend to me. When she opened the door, I was, to her surprise, fast asleep still. She closed the door and went back to the living room. It wasn’t long before she heard me laughing again, and again, she walked down the hall to my room. My bedroom was the first and only room on the left and it was across the bathroom, aside a small hallway closet being the last door on the left, across from my parents room, and my sister’s room was at the end of the hallway.

When my mom opened the door to my bedroom, she again found me fast asleep. This time, this seemed odd to her. Bewildered as to why she was hearing me laugh two times and finding me fast asleep, it was clear that I wasn’t laughing in my sleep either. When she went back into the living room, she mentioned my laughing mystery to her guests. Then again, not long after her checking in on me, she and her guests all heard me laughing again. Bewildered and surprised, she and all of her guests slowly crept down the hall to my bedroom. They all stood outside the door and listened. They all heard me laughing again, and so slowly my mom grabbed the handle of the bedroom door and as I was still laughing, she aggressively flung open the door in hopes to see me awake or to see what I was laughing about.

That’s when they all witnessed my “neenee,” my crocheted baby blanket, fall from the ceiling, and low and behold, when they looked over at me, I was fast asleep. There was no one else in the room. There was no industrial fan or any fan that could have whipped my blanket into the air. The room was dead silent, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

That was the moment when my family realized that I was different (even though my heart grandmother knew)… although my mom would argue she always believed I was different.

From infancy, I’ve always had my foot in the door with unusual occurrences from the ethereal side and multidimensional experiences. Now, I know many people don’t believe in things they choose not to understand or even accept, but if we can float on a piece of dirt in the middle of dead space nowhere, then there should be a glimpse of unusual understanding. To me, I wonder how people are incapable of understanding such a vast phenomenon and discard it in disbelief. To me, it’s a no-brainer, but to others, there’s “Oh, look! It’s Walmart! I want a new TV!” We are on 2 different plane fields. Are you following me? I think I’m in touch, while I think other people are out of touch.

As an adult with many stories to tell, these strange occurrences and my environment were a concoction for a recipe that I had no idea that experiencing any of this wasn’t usual. It was unusual and even considered weird to have earthly or unearthly experiences. This, however, was just the start to a very long journey.

When I was a young child, perhaps 5 years young, my mom thought it would be a great idea to see what my reaction would be to a trick she wanted to play on me. She wanted to see if I would react to seeing if my spirit friend was still around because she herself did not hear or see anything in quite a while. Apparently, my spirit friend was named Ricky, and I suspect he was a young boy with brown hair. That’s how I’ve always pictured him.
My mom wrapped a string around the living room lamp that sat on a small end table next to the couch, and she stood in the doorway to our garage. I was in my room when she called for me. As I came down the hall and hit the living room, I saw the lamp shake, not knowing it was my mom moving it and freaked out with excitement, yelling “Mommy, mommy, Ricky’s here, Ricky’s here mommy!” I ran to my bedroom and grabbed this mini wood chair I had and ran out into the living room and set the chair down, while yelling, “Ricky, Ricky, sit down Ricky, sit down.” I patted the seat for him to sit and waited a few seconds and looked around the room, but he did not sit because he wasn’t there. I looked up at my mom and said, “Where’s Ricky, mommy? Where’d Ricky go?”
My mom replied with, “I don’t know,” with her hands and shoulders in a shrug.

I remember going back into my room really sad that Ricky wasn’t there. I remember pulling out crayons and paper and sitting on my bed and giving Ricky his own paper and crayons and hoped he’d come back and color with me, but he did not and I didn’t experience him again. I do remember feeling quite sad and disappointed he had abandoned me so early on, but I sensed he was there to protect me and keep me entertained during my early years.

Just writing that piece brought me to tears because until now and putting this in words, I’m over here like DAMN, where DID you go Ricky? I miss the energy, even though I cannot specifically tell you my memories of him, because I simply cannot remember. All I do know is that his energy, his presence brought me joy, and my mom could tell stories.

Now, I know it can be normal for kids to endure a spiritual or an imaginative friend at a very young age, especially when not given enough love and attention or there’s trauma, but what’s unique about my experience is that my spirit friend made their presence known by moving physical objects. Some spiritual gurus might even say that what I experienced was an advanced version of my highest self. Meaning it was me creating these ethereal experiences around me.
Some would say that it was my spirit guide or extraterrestrial phenomena, but whatever anyone believed about it, to me, it was a young boy named Ricky, perhaps my spiritual sensei.

Later, I discovered many unusual things about myself that, at some point, I felt I was experiencing too much for even me to cope with. Sometimes, I experienced dark matter or negative quality energies. All of my experiences took a toll on me, and I worked diligently to close that door. It was a constant battle with the human 3D reality and these consistent occurrences beyond the human world and it drove me mad, more so because I felt like the oddball human and needed to find a way to fit in with, well, the rest of the humans, because it was apparent that all the humans were disconnected. Blend in with your surroundings.

I will carry on and share more in other stories, but I will make a mention of one unusual or enhanced ability I have accumulated since my youth, is my ability to feel, see and sense other people’s emotions and vibrations. Meaning, I know your mood, what you’re feeling, and with that, have a pretty good chance at reading thoughts through your energetic vibration, which is like a spiderweb for me. I can practically pluck an experience you’ve been through and read you based on your energetic field. This field is something everyone is said to have, but they are unable to see, feel, and read in each other, but I can see and feel it.
If you were to walk by me and I actually really do a deep connection to your energy and literally get intimate with it, I can read you and feel you and all your senses.

I read people often for my own protection and awareness, but I play very dumb to it. For one, I don’t always assume I’m right about someone without having the human experience first. I dumb down my abilities to fit in with society, so there have been times where I’ve been off when trying to read someone, but I noticed when other people are near or have been in that room before I entered and have left already, I pick up on their energy and can get it confused with someone I’m trying to read. I use this technique to read an entire room, too, but my mind and energy both have to be freed of noisy human matter for me to get the full focus to do a proper read.

I can feel chemistry between people, I can feel when people feel a certain way towards me, I can feel good energy, bad energy, confusion, confliction, fearfulness, anxiety, truthfulness, dishonesty, pretending behaviors and well all the other emotions and energetic experiences there are beyond that. I can practically read your thoughts, but act as though I can’t or that I’m wrong. This ability does increase my anxiety tenfold. Since I’m so sensitive to people’s energy, I often find myself retreating in a quiet space or doing things that re-centers me in Zen.

Call me and empath, but this ability has given me a lot of insight into people and my environment. Much isn’t going to get past me if I’m really invested in connecting to your ethereal USB plug. This gives me the ability to avoid situations and topics when I can sense someone’s energy or even prepare for what’s to come. A lot of people are empathetic and can feel and sense people’s emotions and behaviors, but with that being my ability, I have a strange occurrence where I can also read people’s thoughts and see snippet memories.
The only way I know this to be true, is mostly by observing and reading the energy, then watching that person do something that validates my reading or hearing something come from them or about them from someone else. I have done readings without tarot cards, but I can use them as well when I feel called to them. There’s usually some way shape or form of validation, but I am not by any means perfect with these abilities, and honestly, I’m still trying to understand them and perfect these skills

A few examples of feeling energy is, lets say you don’t like me, you project an energy without having to say physical words that I can actually read from your aura. Love and hate have opposite energetic fields, so let’s say you really like me or even love me, you project an energy of love that I can feel, which also makes me feel good and happy inside. People can’t pretend to feel a certain way with me, even if they try really hard or try to change their physical behaviors to act differently than how they really feel. Say you hated me, but are very kind and sweet to me in person, I can feel your authentic truth, your energy, your aura. I’m the person who’s going to pretend I don’t feel your truth and still emmitt love for you. Often, hate is very strong, and I usually have to set extra boundaries for bitter people because it’s exhausting to be in the same room as them.
I can feel other people’s attractions or hate with each other as well, so it’s easy for me to say, “Be kind to this girl, she is emitting a lot of loving energy around you,” or even dishonesty.

Another example of this super human power is recently that 3 young men came into the facility I used to work at to use it. You have to have a membership, and no guests are allowed. I did not see them come in, as I was locking up my office and getting ready to close. It’s high traffic where I work, so as I came out of my office, the 3 men were by me unloading their stuff into a cubby to use the facility. Immediately, I felt them emmitt energy of sneakiness and guilt, much like the energy kids emit when they are trying to get away with something.
I greeted them like I do with all the humans that come into my facility and asked them if they were all registered to use the building, in which only one guy replied yes. I felt the instant low-level energy emit from his aura, so I rolled back into my office and checked the door scans and found that the guy that spoke up let the other 2 guys in.
I then was able to remind him of the membership rules and since they all rode together, they all left, but not after him telling me he didn’t know the rules, and of course after the fact that he lied about them all scanning in the first place and filling out paperwork stating NO GUESTS.

I also drive my kids nuts, because they always try to win one over mom. “Did you brush your teeth, buddy?” “Yes, mom, I did!” I give them the chance to be open and honest, but kids like to be lazy too and can find themselves trying to get out of something they don’t want to do, but they emit a lot of energy, so it’s easy to see that my buddy didn’t brush his teeth, which then I can be sure he does. Teeth health is important!
This works over the phone as well. “Buddy, have you emptied your lunch pail yet?” “Yes, mom.” A little pull from the connection in the phone line and small remote viewing tells me he hasn’t done that chore yet. Those video games can be distracting for a kid, I tell ya!

To add a little side note, I can also confuse your feelings for my own (but I personally know better now)! Remember the projection I was telling you about? Say you like me as a lover or friend (sorry, this is just an easy example to make sense of things), but you’re uncertain about your feelings towards me. Maybe you’re insecure, afraid of rejection, or having feelings that I may be neglecting your needs. If you’re feeling rejected or neglected by me or you self sabotage your worth when you’re thinking of me or are around me, I could take that as my own feeling and have sudden feelings of that I’m being rejected, whether as a friend or lover by YOU. “Man, I’m feeling suddenly terrible about this person for some reason now!”
This is also how I can tell a friend is having lower vibrating thoughts of our friendship, because I may not be around or check in like they would like me to and they start to feel a certain way that will then rub off on me when we connect, and so it’s like I’M having those feelings when I’m not, but it certainly makes me hyper aware when I realize what’s happening and I can even correct it by checking in more with them or making more time to meet their needs.
Your surroundings can be a result of your own projections and how people treat you if you’re feeling a certain way.
Purposefully ignoring that girl you like? The result for that may be equal treatment. Feeling like she won’t like you? She may feel like YOU won’t like HER. Anything you emit is a projection, and it will basically manipulate the outcome of your own surroundings, so for this, you all have in you, and now you should be aware of it. Energy is a powerful source!

And I can do all of this without the aid of any psychedelics, although I do fully support Nature’s miraculous wonders.
Now, my best experiences are when I’m not trying. I have to mostly be at my optimal energetically to experience different experiences. This Meaning, if I’m super stressed or need to take time out, all my doors are closed so that I can focus on my energy and create a safe place to get out. I am not allowing myself to connect, that my doors are essentially blocked. When I am running at my optimal and feel really good, it’s like a constant stream of ethereal experiences. I feel safe having these experiences when I’m good, but not when I’m not feeling myself.

And now that the cat is out of the bag I’m going to share more really strange stories about my mystery and I do hope that maybe you can widen your perspective on this universal phenomenon and find what I share at the very least interesting and intriguing.

Cosmic vibes!

©️ 2023 Riva Gijanto. All Rights Reserved. This is my hard work. Please do not steal, copy, recreate, manipulate, or use its authenticity in any way.


6 thoughts on “My Spiritual Journey

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  1. Hi there. Funny that I came across your blog after a long hiatus of writing one of my own here on WordPress. I can relate to many of the things your describe about yourself. I dislike the word “empath” because it seems so, I don’t know, pretentious in a new agey sort of way especially the way it is thrown around on social media. But, yeah, I feel things on a deeper level also. All of a sudden I feel drawn to exploring this whole thing again, spirituality, paranormal experiences etc, so I’ll be checking in on your posts from time to time – Tracy from Australia

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tracey! Thank you for your continued support. I’m glad you stumbled upon my page and connected!

      Yes, I agree. Empath is overused as a trendy way of expressing one’s way of feeling. The authenticity has certainly dwindled a social media, and the need for attention has increased significantly.
      I think it’s important to exclude titles altogether, but I know everyone ways to put a name to their experiences.

      And it sounds like you’ve been awakened to this ethereal realm. Once that door has opened, you’ll find such an astronomical experience within yourself and how you can understand what you’re experiencing and how you can use it to your knowledge and advantage.
      I’m happy to hear you’re embarking on this midst unusual experience.
      I encourage you to keep challenging your spiritual experiences and allow them to bloom.

      Cosmic vibes,


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