Dear Divine Women,
It’s absolutely OK to get in touch with your sexuality. Oftentimes we become stressed, overworked, kids, school, work, life, and chasing the “American Dream” to be successful, that we can completely drop the ball on taking care of ourselves.
Not to mention that perhaps we are always searching for someone else to arouse us, but half of the time we aren’t even in the mood to be aroused. Maybe you’re in an unloving relationship. Maybe you’ve lost touch with yourself. Maybe your own treatment of yourself has dwindled and you’ve neglected your own needs. Whatever the case, I’m here to tell you that you hold the power to your sexuality and you can overcome obstacles to tapping into a deeper meaning of what your sexuality looks like or means to you.
Quite frankly we find love in other people, but when that love dies down, you become neglected of your needs, wants and desires. Neglect usually spirals into misery or worse, cheating and or leaving your partner. We are searching for love, but love really starts within.
When we learn to love ourselves, we find that if we can love ourselves at our highest potential, that we will attract someone who will match us and love us at our highest potential too. Relationships create a barrier at some point and the chase stops. Couples become lazy and then their focus is changed to work, success, career and or kids. Is the chase supposed to stop? No. No it’s not. It’s never supposed to stop. The work needs to be consistent for a healthy and sexual relationship. Can’t always beat a man down for cheating, when you’ve lost touch with yourself. Do I condone? Absolutely not, but I understand a different perspective about life, like everything happens for a reason, good and what we deem as bad. Every experience is a learning lesson and we are all here for the human experience. Everyone needs love, but not everyone can navigate through life hedging all the right tools to navigate.
Your sexuality is personal, but how you love someone else will ultimately be a reflection of how you love yourself. You can be the very best version of yourself for yourself, and in return you’ll be an amazing lover for someone else. However, you can also love yourself at your highest self, but your partner may not be equipped with the tools to enhance or even match your love. They may even damper and kill it all together, which can affect how you love yourself.
At some point you should consider what you mean to yourself. Love is such a beautiful experience and if you treat yourself right, you’ll be well on your way to attracting a partner who will match your energy, if that’s what you seek in the end.
When we love ourselves, we trust ourselves. It’s not embarrassing or shameful to explore your mind and body. You learn about yourself and learn what pleases you mentally, emotionally and physically. All your senses should be aligned together and the way you elope in an intimate relationship with yourself should be taken very seriously. Your experience shouldn’t be a quick stop and you shouldn’t feel like it’s forbidden to evolve.
Getting in the mood is hard for an exhausted and stressed society. It’s like intimacy is dead. The romance and passion are dead. Relationships become what they become because they’ve followed a very abused phrase from society, and that is “eventually things change.” Well, that’s because people don’t put in the same efforts as they did in the beginning and therefore their focus is rerouted to success, career, family and education. Once the prize is won, there seems to be a significant dwindle in intimate relationships.
Exploring yourself can be for you too. Taking yourself out to dinner. Going for walks in nature. Buy yourself flowers. Do all the things that make you happy and you’ll find that it’s easier to tap into that party of you you thought no longer existed anymore. Feel yourself out and don’t be ashamed to express emotions you’ve been bottling up for so long. It’s time to release that pent-up energy and treat yourself to a candlelit bubble bath, music, dinner, and dress up. Feeling good about yourself enhances your overall experience with yourself and or for your experience with your partner.
Now, getting imaginative takes creativity. You must set aside the feeling of doubt and submerge yourself into a state of positivity, so that it becomes normal and comfortable to put yourself first, AND rely on yourself at the end of the day. Tapping into your sexuality is supposed to be unique to you, much like a signature.
Knowing what you like and enjoy will ultimately set the stage for a bonded connection with yourself and or a very connected bond with your partner. It’s important to remember that you should really treat your needs and desires with care. Taking things slow can create an everlasting climate of enjoyment, but if you’re not open and patient you may find yourself being frustrated more often than not. When you indulge in this way of self pleasures, it may leave you unsatisfied and can affect your mood and behavior, so I’ll emphasize on how important it is that you really allow time and space to care for yourself properly.
I have heard discussions about whether or not you should participate in self pleasures, that it isn’t good for you in short. However, if you abuse your ability to embark on a real authentic journey with yourself, then it can certainly be looked at as a terrible way to journey. Abusing porn and or yourself for quick gratification isn’t going to build healthy stamina or deepen connections with yourself or anyone for that matter.
So how can you increase your Divine Sexuality? Everyone’s journey looks different, so it’s a trial and error experience until you find what liberates you.
Positive Words of Affirmations-
I can’t emphasize enough on how critical it is that you say positive things to and about yourself. How you see and treat yourself is actually the red carpet to how you’ll allow someone else to treat you, which should be even better than how you treat yourself.
Candlelit Bubble Baths-
Candles are certainly romantic and without a doubt can be an intimate mood booster. There’s just something about low light that’s incredibly romantic and sitting in a bubble bath.
Music would be a great addition to really set the scene, so be mindful that the music you pick should really represent a relaxing and romantic mood.
Dinner Date-
Taking yourself out for your favorite meal and even perhaps wearing your favorite outfit is just a small and rewarding romantic gesture that you can do for yourself.
If you’re not able to go out, perhaps cooking yourself your favorite meal would suffice, and this gives you an opportunity to add low lit candles and play soothing, relaxing and intimate mood enhancing music.
- NOTE
If you’re unsure of what music would be best to play to give you that intimate euphoric experience, try doing a little research on the web.
Tapping into Hobbies-
Hobbies bring us joy. Joy enhances our mood. Enhancing our mood leads to intimate desires. Perhaps there is something you really love doing, but don’t pay enough attention to. Try eloping with something that brings you absolute joy. Painting, singing, biking, swimming? Whatever it is, do it and don’t hesitate.
Mindfulness-
Yes, being mindful of your actions, behaviors, environments and situations are very important to how you open a divine connection with yourself. If you’re being subjected to drama or being drama yourself, then absorbing all that negative energy is not going to give you the ultimate feel-good receptors you really need to experience.
Positive People
Surround yourself with positive people that make you feel good about yourself and your environment. People who are supportive and positive will lead to you also feeling good and positive, which will enhance your libido.
Romantic Movies & Books
Sounds cliche, but watching romance movies when there’s that little quick love scene in it and all the gushy love bombs, will increase interest in working that libido. Everyone loves a romance movie, because we crave authenticity and have that desire to really connect deeply with someone.
Same with reading or listening to audibles that are hot and spicy romance to indulge into. It triggers those receptors needed to increase your libido AND your interest.
Listen to Podcasts
There’s so many podcasts you can listen to that can get you in the mood. Whether it’s just information, discussions or getting you in that mindset and that mood, the options are endless. Try throwing on a podcast while you’re tinkering around the house, but also try just sitting in a quiet space to embark on a journey with yourself. There are podcasts that will lead you “into the mood.”
Massage
A spa day away from home or at home treating yourself is a great way to relax the muscles and the mind. A massage feels good to the body, and being tense can cause a deflation to our libido. If you can’t have a professional massage, perhaps grab a massage gun and massage the areas that you feel are tense, like the back of the neck, shoulders, back, legs, etc…
Sexy Photo Shoot
Yes, having a sexy photo shoot done can help us look at ourselves as beautiful and enchanting. Having a professional photographer that specializes in sexy photo shoots is the best way to bring out all the features you may not be aware of and even embrace areas that you think you may not like. Finding a photographer that specializes in lingerie shoots will be able to help you with your poses.
Having a professional makeup artist is key too, good photos and makeup will make us feel and look like a lioness ready to pounce.
- NOTE
Try cleansing yourself of people who are negative. People who find themselves regularly getting sloppy while drinking, using negative profanity towards you or others, addicted to drugs, steals, lies, has toxic relationships with others and so forth.
Touching & Exploring-
You should know your body, likes and dislikes more than anybody else. When you’ve been actively trying to enhance your mood and you’ve set-up the environment you need to feel safe, comfortable and adventurous, embrace your body by feeling the areas of your body until you find what excites you.
It’s important to understand that you may not accomplish exactly what you love for a little while, because learning what puts you in the mood and what feels good, really takes commitment.
Taking Your Time-
I want to emphasize on taking your time during this vulnerable experience. It’s not a race, so there shouldn’t be any reason why you need to “get the job done.” Perhaps allowing the tease with ease to build up being able to endure various experiences will bypass your desire to be quick about it. You’re worth the time you create.
To add to that, there’s definitely a difference in stimulation and climax when you’re just trying to be quick and when you’re taking your time.
Toys or no Toys?
This is entirely up to you on how you want to go about exploring yourself. I have heard both negative and positive reasons to explore these options.
I would note that by choosing to use toys it may create a reliance on them to reach your preferred climax. This may not sound terrible, but self pleasure or pleasure with your partner may be harder to climax. While if it’s just you, there may not be a concern, but with a partner, you could find that you HAVE to involve toys in order to climax.
- NOTE
Be mindful of the kinds of toys you do use, because for women they can cause internal irritation or even damage. It’s best to put some honest thought into what toys would really suit your Anatomy best.
Conclusion
It’s important to embrace being in an intimate relationship with yourself before you think you’ll be able to open up in a relationship, a healthy and fruit-bearing relationship that is. When you don’t explore your body, you neglect the connection between mind, body and soul. You also neglect your desires, what you deserve and your needs. Relying on someone else to satisfy those needs, whether intimately or emotionally, causes codependency that will leave you desiring something you think you can only get from someone else.
Do you have an idea I did not list? Comment and share your experiences!
Here’s to raising your libido ladies!
©️ 2023 Riva Gijanto. All Rights Reserved. This is my hard work. Please do not steal, copy, recreate, manipulate or use its authenticity in any way.
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