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Many seasons have come and gone and yet I sit here by my windowsill waiting for you every single day. I watch the long dirt driveway, hoping to see you coming home to me. The townspeople talk and say that you’re never coming and that you don’t exist, but in my heart I don’t believe that to be true. I feel you as though you were here with me now. I have many handsome suitors knocking on my door, promising financial freedom and a happy life, but they just aren’t you. They can make me laugh and smile, and even distract me from my obsessive thoughts of you for a little while, but my heart is fragile and I’m left just wishing that I was tangled in a conversation with you.
Do you think about me? Why have you been away for so long? I try to have faith, but my bed is cold and lonely without you beside me. I patiently await your arrival, because I love you and trust the divine to bring you home to me. Every doubt that has slipped into my ethereals. I received a warm sensation throughout my body as if to remind me that destiny isn’t defined by what we want, but rather what happens out of the ordinary. It’s hard for me to accept the fact that my encounter with you may merely be elaborated in my mind.
What am I waiting for? I’m old fashioned, and call me selfish but I desire certainty. I desire to be touched, to be loved and to feel the energy surge throughout my body as if I were laying in a bed of electromagnetic fields. Where my heart once skipped a beat in thoughts of you, now willow in pain with every beat. I’ve begun to think you’re never coming.
Maybe I’m the girl that expects prince charming to come sweep me off my feet and save me, but in reality is a dream that is only true within the mind of the creator. The people tell me I’m wasting my time, but I keep reassuring them that you’ll surely come to me one day, but they don’t believe in fantasies. I feel someone within me, someone meant for me. I feel you and because of this it gives me great hope. I know you’re out there, but when will we unite? When will it finally feel like home with someone? When will I just know?
I wonder, will we both just be living fully into our lives and one day when our eyes meet, we’ll just know? Will you look at me and think, “There she is. She’s the one?” Will you really know that I’m the one? What if you want kids and I don’t? Will it matter? What if I have kids and you don’t? Will it matter? Will our life circumstances matter or will we feel so involved in this unique romance story, that everything will fall into place as it was meant to and everything else will work itself out as it should? Will we believe the risk is worth the reward? Will it be worth it? Will WE be worth it? Will this opportunity arise from an unusual circumstance and although our lives aren’t perfect, it’ll inevitably align us together? Will we be ready for each other? Or are there no such things ready?
I see signs and Synchronicities that you’re coming as if you’re already on your way to me, but I’m afraid I’ll parish completely before your arrival. My heart feels lifeless without you, my love. Will you love me as much as I love you? Can you love me beyond my wildest dreams? Are you ready for an impenetrable love that goes far beyond the surface and dives into the deepest depths of the universe? All in which I have been honing and waiting for my entire life.
I’ve been waiting to share this gift of mine with someone who’s receptive and ready for something incredibly unusual and different than anything else they have ever experienced in their entire lives or ever thought was possible. I want you to come home to me. I can’t bear waiting much longer. My heart remains empty of where you should be. I can’t fathom a union with someone that doesn’t beat the same drum as mine. Surely you’re looking for me too? Surely you feel as though the other half of you exists somewhere out there too? Surely you feel me, feel that I exist? You must long for my touch like I long for yours?
When I imagine my greatest love, I see the trials and errors they’ve endured to become the man they had to grow into, in order to find himself and to land himself on the path in which he needs to walk in order to get to me. I am empathetic to your journey, I know you’ve been beaten and battered along the way, but the love of your life is awaiting your arrival at that precise time, at that precise place and completely out of the ordinary, there she’ll be. You will have never thought it could be, but yes, it was meant to be. Some things don’t have to make sense, because our lives have been orchestrated and like a chess game, not all the pieces we have control of. These are my thoughts of you. My ever wandering mind of how incredibly amazing you are and how happy it’ll make me to make you happy and to watch you smile, simply because I make you happy.
I visioned us for a very long time as I jumped over hurdles and climbed mountains to find you, and as if I were a puppet, I was placed here and there and everywhere to land me directly onto your path. We’ll laugh at how many times we may have crossed paths, but didn’t notice each other at first and we’ll cry when we tell our stories of how we got to be here and how the universe linked us together in the midst of all odds. We’ll gaze into each other’s eyes and that warm feeling will touch the tips of our ears as we feel vulnerable, exposed, giddy and in-love. It’ll feel good and it’ll feel like home, a place where you’re safe and well cared for just as you should have always been.
I long for your love. I’ve been waiting my entire life for someone who matches my vibrational frequency. I’ve been sending an S.O.S until my hands bled from the flames I made to get your attention. I’ve been working overtime with my growth to become “the one” for me and for you. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and you’re the last thought in my mind when I sleep. You make appearances in my dreams and although I can’t see your face, I know it’s you. I know you’re with me in spirit, even though our physical bodies have yet to dance in union. I have so much to tell you and when you come home, I hope to spend the rest of my life nestled in your strong arms and talking about all the wonderful phenomenons of life and recap on memories we’ve made together so far.
Oh my love, I grow impatient waiting for you to arrive. I sense you’re so close, that perhaps you’re standing right in front of me, but I can’t see you amongst the crowd. Parts of me are ecstatic for your arrival, but I often ponder if I created a version of someone who doesn’t exist, all to fill in a void of loneliness. My heart tells me you’re out there, but my mind wants logic and deters me from believing my intuition. Perhaps I may be going crazy, but in reality I’ve been overjoyed with feeling as though you do exist and just how incredibly happy it makes me feel inside to know that one day when I see you, I’ll get to say, “It’s him.” There will be nothing to replace the glory penetrating through my body, as if to give away with my arms out and falling back into the nothingness behind me, giving complete trust to the universe for this grand entrance.
We’ll have similar life experiences that no one else will have endured, and this will have molded us into intense lovers, it will certainly be a hit for a home run if this were a ball game. I don’t doubt you’ll be a mirror image to myself, a reflection of my past, my present and my future. It’s with you I’ll flourish and bloom after growing for so many years without you. We’ll water each other through the drought we’ve endured on our adventures to each other. It’ll be blissful and beautiful, and so ironic how we stumbled upon each other. It’ll be as if the universe was waiting for the perfect time and moment for us to intersect each other’s pathway. One of us will catch each other’s attention first and it’ll be the first words written in our love story.
I cannot wait for you to appear before me and enlighten me with your masculine presence and safeguard me for the rest of my short life on Earth. In your arms I’ll feel safe and as you tower over me I know you’ll protect me until my last day and in return I’ll show you a love you never thought could possibly exist in a world where fantasies aren’t deemed real. You’ll feel so blessed and lucky to have found me and as I engulf you into the version of love that I’ve molded myself and honed for all my waking years, I get to share this beautiful phenomenon with you and you’ll never again ever have to question what true love feels like.
I may not be perfect in the eyes of the world and the rules placed on who I should be or how I should represent myself, but the world is not you and all that matters is that we collide for who we are and watch everything else about the world slip away as though they have never existed at all. We’ll create our own story and we’ll conquer quests together as equals. I’ll be your Feminine dream, your biggest fan, your largest supporter, your greatest lover and your bestest friend.
You won’t care if I’m rich, successful or sophisticated, because love will prevail as it always has, and long before material and success became an object worth chasing. Love has no rules or obligations, the law of attraction will inevitably oversee barriers we’ve put upon ourselves. We won’t get to choose love, for it will just be. It will not matter what cards we’ve been dealt, where we have been, what we have done and how much we’ve climbed the ladder to get to where we’ve gotten and who we’ve become. It’ll all fall away and we’ll be stripped away from our titles and our body’s as our souls collide beyond what our eyes can see.
Dear Romeo, I dream of adventures beyond imaginable with you. I dream of laughing at all your jokes and collapsing with every bright big smile. I long for your touch and to hear you tell me that you love me. The feeling will feel like a wave, flowing through my body as presenting a cloud 9 feeling. I’ll be weightless in your presence. I smile as I think about you. Your kindhearted nature, ready to nurture my Feminine. Your protective instincts will instantaneously kick in and you’ll want to do anything to protect me. I may not be perfect to the world, but you’ll fall in-love with me and can’t wait to see me everyday. I dream that you’re my forever. You’re my best friend, my greatest lover, my biggest fan and my mentor. Surely no one will ever love you more than I do and will.
In each other’s presence neither of us will ever be neglected. Where our freedom and independence will not create distance, but rather strengthen our bond where great lessons and experience continue to grow. I will not abandon you and I’ll never make you wonder about your worth in my life. I promise to keep you on your toes while in return I’ll always be on mine just so that I can kiss you. I’ll always keep things fresh and fun, so you’ll never be bored or have doubts. I await to welcome you home.
My Dearest Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? My heart tells me you’re already here…
©️ 2022 Riva Gijanto. All Rights Reserved. This is my hard work. Please do not steal, copy, recreate, manipulate or use its authenticity in any way.
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