I raised the bar high tonight at a casino I like to gamble at. Gambling isn’t an addiction for me, it’s more of a hobby of mine. I’m rather good at what I do and it’s merely a game I enjoy winning at, and winning I do a lot of. It’s how I became rich, but you wouldn’t know it, because I don’t wave it around for everyone, it’s for me and since I find it relatively easy to win, I don’t even consider it fair when I win.
I like to watch people sweat when I raise the stakes. I wonder when they decide to go all in if they are betting on everything they have or if they are afraid to lose and go home empty handed. I can usually tell who’s who. The guy on the left of me is shaking, he has an addiction and it’s likely that he borrowed money from someone to play tonight. If he goes home empty handed, it’s likely that there will be quite the extensive consequences to pay. By judging the uneasy bobbing of the knee, I can only assume he knows he’ll lose everything, but his addiction keeps him at the table.
The guy to the right of me is overly calm. He’s the kind of guy that tries to make you feel as though he’s better than you and he’ll win, but not before purposefully losing a few hands first just so that he can gain the upper hand in the end. He’s calm as Buddha. No movement other than to lay his hand down. No facial expression and no eye contact. It’s as though everyone is wasting his time, even though he’s in the casino. A real classy looking chump if I do say so myself.
The guy sitting across from me is your typical rich guy that pays for everything. Even girls, because there were 7 of them surrounding him. Older fella that puffed on a cigar as if it were the last one. He dressed fancy, his women were fancy and he wreaked bad old man cologne that was likely five hundred dollars for a three ounce bottle. All that smoking is sure to disrupt your ability to smell things, because I’m certain he bathed in it. His women giggled and laughed with each other like school girls. Now come to think of it, they look like school girls. I guess when you have money you can buy a female of every age group. It’s fascinating what money can buy these days. I wonder if any of them can change the oil on a 1967 GT 500 mustang? I’m willing to bet that neither of them even know where to find the oil in any car. Perhaps they don’t drive at all? OK, I’m clearly being judgmental here.
Then, you have the dealer. He hates his job. I can tell he’s had his ass kicked a few times by angry players blaming him for their losses, but he knows he makes good money, so he keeps coming back. He’s a good dealer, been here for ten years. He’s considered a veteran here, because most staff members don’t last a year. I don’t know him, because it’s not allowed, but quite frankly I don’t need to know him, because I’m good at what I do, so I don’t need an inside man to cheat. He seems to be like a simple man and the casino is about as wild as it gets for him. Can’t say I blame him, working here would drain anyone with the amount of drama that goes on. It’s like a reality TV show, “There’s Karen, trying to lie about how the slot machine was stealing her money and that she hit a jackpot that apparently the machine just magically reset all on its own and the jackpot disappeared. Go home Karen, it’s the third time this week. How do they even let her back in? I’m guessing for entertainment purposes, hence the TV scene vibe here.”
Lastly, there’s me. I’m in my forties, single guy, Gemini, rich and there’s not a whole lot I can’t do that money can’t buy. I live in a tiny cottage that’s located on the ocean of Melbourne, Florida. It was actually passed down to me by my grandmother. Unfortunately, my mom abandoned me when I was a boy and no one has heard from her since. Apparently, she ran off with a wannabe rock star, whom I’ve yet to ever hear about. I guess he didn’t make it. That’s too bad for them, but I ended up inheriting my grandmother’s house after she passed away, since she’s the one that raised me. Don’t ask about my sperm donor, apparently my mom was never in a committed relationship and never knew who my father was, so I am the flesh version of a mistake that happened between two really irresponsible humans. However, I really don’t give two hoots, because my grandmother was the most amazing human on this entire Earth.
The game is black jack. Last round. I have a ten and an ace. Everyone at my table went all in, But I know two of the four of us are bluffing, just based on their body language. The guy to me is definitely done for, I actually almost feel bad for him. Almost. The other two seem to be competing with each other, they look like rivals. I can feel the tense energy in the air between them. It may not have anything to do with the fact that the wife of the guy on my right left him for the old man across from me. You heard that right. I’ve seen them here before, they are regulars too, I just haven’t played them before until now. The casino is massive, but there are regulars and I’m very observant of their behaviors, hence why I’m so good at reading them and their hand of cards without looking. It’s pure magic.
As we all laid our hands down it was clear who the winner was. ME. The guys sitting across me and to my right had great hands, both had a hard 20. The poor guy to my left actually had a good hand as well, but fell short of the rest of us with a 19. I could see why he took the risk, he was rather close and thought he probably had the upper hand, but that “probably” has so many gray areas. The two rivals didn’t even flinch at their losses, this is pocket change to them. The guy to my left though, this man let out that weird laugh-cry sound you do when you know you’re screwed. He exited the table rather quickly and disappeared into the crowd.
I collected my winnings and headed to cash them out. I was done for the night and tonight I won about five hundred thousand dollars. I know it’s a lot, but it’s not about the money to me. As I collected my money, I went to the bathroom before leaving. This was of course without security aiding me to my destinations. This was due in part to robberies happening with big wins. They waited outside the restroom for me. I stood at the urinal and I heard this quiet sobbing from within one of the stalls. I figured someone lost some money. The bathroom just happens to be the place that people reflect on their actions of regret. I couldn’t tell you how many times the mirrors have been smashed out in this bathroom, feces mashed into the walls and on the stalls, urine everywhere and trash disbursed like the aftermath of a concert. The upside to that happening, is that the bathroom always looks brand-new.
“What am I going to do? I’m done. We’re done. Everything is done now. I have nothing left. It’s all gone…” I heard it in the sobbing of a guy in the stall. Yep, just as I thought. Well, I better get out of here before he turns to rage and turns this place inside out. I started to wash my hands quickly, but not quick enough for the guy to come out. Oh great, it was the losing guy from my table, the fragile one to my left. He came up to the sink and noticed me. “Nice game.” He said sincerely. “Thank you. You played well yourself, but now I have to know, what did you end up losing for it to result in you being here?” I asked. I don’t normally ask, but the look on this fellas puffy red eyes showed me it was a serious situation, not like other losses.
“OK then, I’m all ears, tell me what happened.” I asked him. “Well, long story short my 8 year old son has cancer and his mother died giving birth to him and my health insurance is not nearly enough. I don’t have much family but a sister, I don’t have friends, my life has been devoted to work and my son and I’m broke. I took my wife’s insurance money that I’ve been holding onto to try and win me a few hundred thousand to cover the costs of my son’s medical needs. Not only that, but I don’t want to leave him alone fighting this fight alone while I slave away at a corporation fifty hours a week to make ends meet. He needs me. I should be there for him and I just can’t afford it. My sister has been great, trying to put up a go-fund me page and trying to share on her social media, but it hasn’t gotten much attention. I came here to win enough to cover costs. Quite frankly, I have no interest in gambling, but I used to play blackjack when I was a kid and was pretty good at it, so I took a big chance coming here tonight.” He sobbed through the whole story, constantly wiping his eyes with the backs of his thumbs.
“I see. I would agree that this is a very unfortunate situation and my condolences go out to you and your family. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and to go through it alone is more unfortunate.” I said. I’m not sure why, but it hit me differently hearing his story. He was very genuine, I could feel his energy and my intuition validated he was real. We sometimes forget that when we have money, that pain and suffering still surrounds us. Rich people are often blinded as they drown in materialistic objects that bring them distraction and joy, that they forget to care about anyone else but themselves. They become too good for people and although they have all the opportunities to make life easier for someone else, they still choose themselves while donating a few bucks here and there to gloat on the fact that they “donate” to places.
“Well, I um don’t normally do this, but that’s because I’m used to seeing scam artists trying to swindle winners for their money, but perhaps I could give you a few hundred thousand dollars to help towards the costs of your son’s medical treatment? I’ll give you back your one hundred thousand and I’ll give you two hundred thousand more.” I said to him. He just looked me dead straight in my eyes and stared motionlessly. He grabbed his chest with quite a thud. “No, are you serious man? Please don’t play with me, I don’t think I’m in the right mental state to make a sick joke.” He said as tears started down his face again. “I’m being genuine, sir. I gamble as a hobby, I am just good at what I do and I guess you can say that I like to help unfortunate people out with my winnings. What do you say, would you take my offer and allow me to help your son?”
I’ve never heard a full grown man fully wheep like he did just then. I’m talking snot, tears pouring down, and the deepest crying exhale you do when you do as the air depletes from your chest. “You hear that baby, our prayers have been answered. Our prayers have been answered,” as looked up and held his hands together in a prayer pose. Still sobbing he wrapped me up in a bear hug. “For the first time in my life, I’m very lost for words. I can’t thank you enough, I’m just, thank you, thank you so so much. I have no words, my heart just feels like it’s going to give out I’m so overwhelmed by emotion right now.” He said. “OK well, we don’t want any of that now, but you’re welcome. Trust me, I’ll sleep better tonight knowing I did a good deed for someone in need. We can’t ignore the signs of struggles, it’s our purpose to help each other when we’ve been chosen to help and given opportunities to help.” I said.
As we were escorted out of the building together I safely handed him $300,000 of my winners over to him. “I’m Alaro, by the way.” He put his hand out to shake mine. “And I’m Izrik.” I replied back to him. “I would really be honored if you could join me for dinner at my place this weekend, if you aren’t busy of course and perhaps you can meet my son? I’m a mean cook and I promise you won’t be disappointed.” He asked. “Dinner? Well, that’s certainly never happened before. You know what, why not? I would be humbled to accept your invite and meet your son over what sounds to be like a delicious meal. Truth is, food is my weakness and it’s not oftenI turn down an offer.” I said. We shook hands and exchanged numbers. He gave me his address to his house and we parted ways. Honestly, if I don’t hear back from him and he gives me false info, I still have no regrets. I do enjoy being generous, it’s my way of trying to help someone. Just then a text came through, “thank you again, truly and from the bottom of my heart I just can’t thank you enough.” It read. Well, I guess that sums that up about him and I read the details for the weekend dinner.
I spent the week just minding my own business. I enjoy dabbling in stocks and minor hobbies. I decided to take a walk on the beach. It was a beautiful day. No wind, not too hot, just that time of year where the weather is just right. The beach isn’t too crowded this time of year, but there’s this cute little local ice cream shop that sits on the entrance of the sand to the beach and it’s not too far from my house. It’s this tiny tiki looking hut and traditionally made out of grass. It’s a pretty neat place. As I walked over to stand in line behind a woman for an ice cream, I heard the woman in front of me whisper to the lady making the ice cream, Alna her name is, that she would like to pay-it-forward. I grinned a hard grin. I suppose that is the universe’s way of thanking me for helping someone in need, or at least that’s what I would like to think anyway. “Thank you!” I said to her as she walked away with an ice cream for her and clearly her dog. She spun around with her long hair creating a twist in the non-existent wind and her bright big blue eyes peering back at me. “Oh! You heard me? Ha! You’re welcome!” As she turned to look at me and smiled before continuing on her walk on the beach with her dog. And I’ll have you know she was pretty too. Alna stood there smiling at me smiling while still looking at the woman who paid for my ice cream. “Ahem!” Alna tried to get my attention. “Hey Alna! I said, still smiling ear to ear. “And what can I get you today Izrik?” Alna giggled. “My apologies, I guess I just haven’t looked up in awhile, so I guess you can say someone caught my attention. I’ll take a non-dairy peanut butter and chocolate soft twist in a chocolate waffle cone.” I asked. “The usual!” She said. “Have you seen that woman around before?” I asked. “She’s been here a few times. She mentioned that she just moved into town to be closer to family. She seems really nice and apparently lives just down the road. “Huh. Well, perhaps I’ll see her again then.” I said. “Perhaps you will. Thank you for stopping by again, Izrik!”
As I walked down the beach, I did sort of look around for her. I mean, her genuine heart caught me first of course, but her beauty amplified my interest towards her. Perhaps I will see her again, because I had no luck seeing her on the beach as I took my stroll. Not that I was looking for her, but you know. OK, maybe I am slightly kicking myself for not trying to catch up with her sooner. Ah, if it is meant to be it will be, right? I found a nice spot to sit on the beach and on the ocean’s edge. My ice cream was gone at this point, so I sat in a mediation position and meditated. The sounds of the ocean waves crashing up against the sand is therapeutic to me.
All of a sudden I felt this wet nub on my arm before I opened my eyes to see a dog licking what looked to be where I must have dropped some ice cream on my forearm. “Eros! Come boy!” I hear a lady’s voice clearly calling this dog. A white golden retriever, a rare sight to see. Wait a minute, this looks like the dog I saw earlier! I looked up and sure enough there was the woman who had bought my ice cream running down the beach. Looks like Eros escaped the leash. “Hey Eros!” As I grabbed his collar and gave him a good boy head rub. “AH! Thank you! I guess his collar came undone while we were walking back and he clearly took advantage of being off the leash!” She explained with hardly any breath left. “I’m sorry if he bothered you in any way. I assure you he is harmless.” She continued. As she got closer she realized it was me. “Oh it’s you!” She said excitedly. “It’s just me.” I said.
There it is, I thought. The universe always finds a way. “Eros apparently found a spot that my ice cream you so graciously bought for me had dropped on my arm and I wouldn’t have known if your dog didn’t offer his tongue as a napkin. I must thank your dog! He saved me from further embarrassment.” I laughed. “I’m Miara.” She put her hand out to shake mine. “Oh, and I’m Izrik! Nice to meet you and oh hey, thanks for the ice cream by the way. That was generous of you.” I said. “Oh you’re welcome! I just believe in paying it forward, it really just warms my heart to do even the smallest of gestures for people. I don’t often get to see their expressions, but I dodge quickly and therefore left to imagine how they feel. I’m sorry, I’m actually running late for an event and must be going, but nice to meet you and maybe I’ll see you around again sometime?” She said as she swifted away quickly. “Ah OK then, yea maybe I’ll catch you again or maybe Eros will find me again!” As I yelled back to her.
Man, what are the odds? “She cute, yea, she cute.” I said in my little swag voice. I took my time walking back home and by the time I reached home it was dark outside. The stars were vibrant and it made me miss the times my grandma would make us hot chocolate and we’d sit under the stars learning the constellations. My grandmother was a very smart woman. She worked for NASA as Public Affairs Assistant. She was never flashy with her earnings, she lived simple and donated not only her time and energy helping others, but she donated money to many organizations. She was Saint. My grandad died when I was too little to remember him. My grandmother would tell me stories about how great he was and how in love they were. She never did date or remarry after him, it didn’t feel right for her. She’d say, “If I remarry, who will I run to in heaven?” She had a good point and it inspired me to be cautious of who I date. I’m in no rush in life and I’m not settling for just anyone. Gramps died suddenly. He was crossing the street from the market with a bouquet of flowers for my grams. He would get her weekly flowers and a teenager that had stolen his mom’s car without a license was on the run from the cops and hit my paps as he was crossing. Even worse the kid kept going and managed to get away. It’s been about 40 years now and they were married for 20 at the time of the accident. It devastated this small area at the time. Paps was a loved man in his community according to my grams.
The following day I stopped at the same local market my paps used to go to, to pick up fresh baked cookies for the dinner at Alaro’s place. Personally, it’s obvious I have a sweet tooth. I have a bit of a chocolate chip cookie obsession that came from my grandmother’s amazing homemade cookies she’d make every week. She used to make large batches of cookies to sell at that market. The money earned she’d donate to the homeless and ASPCA. When the little bakery opened up inside the market, grandma sold her recipe to the owners. Her cookies were such a hit with the town they were always sold out. The bakery now takes half of the proceeds and donates to the same places my grams did. So, when I go to the market I always try and buy “grandma’s cookies,” literally, that’s what they call them. It’s like she’s still here with me and I always get a warm welcome from the owners. They have become family and never allow me to pay for grandma’s cookies when I come in.
The next morning the sunrise was breathtaking as nearly always. Pinkish and orangish hues painted the sky around the sun. It looks large this morning. Its reflection on the ocean created this stream of light that melted onto the surface. The sounds of the waves crashing onto the sand beach and the gentle wind rustling through the tall grass before the border of Beach sand and land. There was absolutely no room for negativity here. You could try to extend your bad mood, but mother nature ultimately won that fight. Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mad man walking on the beach. The sounds of nature were designed to be a stress free environment. Unfortunately, we have long eradicated the sounds of the universe and replaced them with factories, cars and businesses. I’m not much of a city guy, because I don’t even get the pleasure of hearing birds in the morning. The city is loud, busy and the sounds of honking become the new communication.
I like to start my day early and get the most out of it. It starts with a meditation session on the beach, followed by homemade tea with the herbs I buy from a local organic herb shop. There’s just something euphoric about the sounds of nature first thing in the morning, then my sipping on fresh herbs and taking in the peace. I end my morning with some yoga overlooking the ocean from my deck. Yes, it may sound silly that a man enjoys yoga, but I’m getting older and I prefer to tune into my body and increase mobility and flexibility the older I get. I’ve really grown to love taking care of myself outside society’s masculine demands. Men should spend more time embracing their Feminine side and acknowledging that we aren’t just masculine energy. It’s our Feminine energy that nourishes us and allows for us to take care of our body, mine and soul. Masculine men are usually narrow minded, stubborn and suffer from inflated ego. There’s not much balance in a man that lives through his masculine energy without the balance and nourishment of his Feminine energetic energy. To me, it’s a waste to see a man succumb to his masculine energy.
As I was getting ready to go to Alaro’s house, I received a text from him. “Really looking forward to you coming to dinner tonight!” In that same text, he sent me his address. “Can’t wait. See you soon!” I replied. I just had a good feeling about this guy and became interested in his journey. It’s nice to be a part of someone’s life who I can watch grow into a life they deserve. It hurts me to watch others struggle. I never understood how we can have so many rich people on this planet, but yet they drown themselves in materialistic desires and actually believe that is what living on earth is all about. How great to have all these materialistic things that end up in the landfill at some point. The rich is the new trash pandemic. No, they don’t care. They have their own magical trash fairy that must poof away all their materialistic garage they don’t want anymore. Sure, donate. No matter how you look at it it all ends up in a landfill somewhere at some point.
When I arrived at Alaro’s house, it was a nice little house snuggled in a small wooded area. It certainly looked a little neglected. The lawn and garden was a little overgrown. You can tell his focus isn’t his priority on his house. I felt even more for this fella. He was dedicated to his son. He didn’t care about the things that don’t matter and he clearly wasn’t trying to impress anyone.
I grabbed grandma’s cookies and got out of my smart car. By the time I reached the front porch Alaro had already swung open the door. “Izrik! Man, I’m really glad you came! I’ve been telling my son and my sister all about you! Come in!” Alaro’s house was tidy and simple. To be honest, it looked sort of empty. “You must be thinking my house looks empty. I sold a lot of my stuff to try and save money for my son’s medical treatments.” He said. “I understand. I can’t imagine what you’ve had to go through.” I replied. His house smelled amazing and I took a huge noticeable whiff. “Ah yes, my sister insisted on coming over and cooking tonight. I’ve tried to put my magic in it, but she was so ecstatic to hear about your generosity, that she insisted on helping and returning the favor too!” He said. “Wow! Well, you are the true hero in my eyes.” I said.
Then suddenly, his son came around the corner. “I’m Pico! Are those cookies for me?!” He said excitedly. “Hi Pico, I’m Izrik! As a matter of fact they are!” I shook his frail hand and handed him the cookies. He looked so frail. He had already started chemo, so he had no hair. Such a vibrant young boy with so much life ahead of him and all I can think about is how selfish the world is. We could be doing so much more to help people in need, but our needs and wants get in the way of helping those in real need. A life or a sports car? Why is this evergreen a choice? “Aunt Anesha! Look! My new friend Izrik brought me my favorite kind of cookies!” He rushed off to the kitchen.
As Alaro started to walk me through the house, his sister came out of the kitchen. “Oh my gosh! It’s YOU!” I heard her say. I looked up and I’d be damned if it wasn’t the beautiful woman that bought my ice cream! “WOW! No way!” I said and was completely dumbfounded. We both just hugged. “Wait, you two know each other?!” Alaro asked. “Well, not quite, but we were just acquainted a few days ago I guess you could say. I bought him an ice cream on the beach by paying it forward and then Eros hunted him down later that day and disturbed his meditation by licking some ice cream off his arm. I was in a rush for Pico’s fund raiser event, so we didn’t get to really chat long.” She said. “Well, isn’t this something? What are the odds of that?!” Alaro expressed. “I’m truly shocked.” I said.
Anesha and I sort of just stared at each other for a few seconds. It was awkward, but we definitely became hypnotized by each other. “Ahem. Well, I would love to hear more details of this story between you two. Perhaps we should sit down and eat now?” Alaro laughed. “Oh yes! Dinner is done, so let me bring it out, no need to help, you guys sit!” Anesha said excitingly. I was flabbergasted by everything that had unraveled this past week and now meeting Anesha just really took me back on just how unique the universe really is. Anesha came back into the dining room and laid out a beautiful display of various foods. It was colorful and the aroma was of this sweet scent I couldn’t put my finger on. Nothing I’ve ever smelled before and was already amazed by this woman.
As we all say around the table, Alaro’s dining room had massive windows. Outside you can see this nicely decorated patio. It didn’t have much on it, but he had various bird feeders all throughout his patio and backyard. He had hundreds of birds flocking to the bird feeders. It was mesmerizing. “Yea, I have a little passion for making bird houses and feeders. It’s a hobby I picked up after my wife passed away. I had made a few here and there and she would always try to talk me into making more and selling them, but I just created excuses not to.” Alaro said. He must have seen me gazing. “Yea, no, I think it’s mesmerizing. I’ve never seen so many colored birds in one area, it’s really relaxing. And you made the bird houses? Wow! I would have to agree with your wife then. You certainly have a talent and should definitely do something with it.” I said ecstatically.
“Mr. Izrik sir, could you please tell me how you met my dad?! I want to hear your story vs my dad’s.” Pico belted out. Pico, this frail and fragile looking boy. He seemed so gentle by nature. Bright blue eyes gazed at me, awaiting an adventurous story. Hunched over the table with his arms folded on the table, smiling ear to ear. His eyes sunken into his sockets and the dark blueish-black color showed me the signs of genuine struggle. My heart sank for this precious young life. I have lived a rather good life, but this boy may not see ten years old and it broke me. As I told Pico the story, he was so excited to learn that the universe is full of wonders. That the universe orchestrates a scene just so, so that everything falls into place as it should. “Thank you Mr. Izrik! It’s so cool how you meet my dad! I wish my mom could meet you. I think she would have really liked hearing your story. I wish she was here, I’ve heard many awesome stories about my mom… Daddy… I don’t feel good again.” Pico said. Alaro stood right up and attended to Pico. “OK buddy. Let me help you get up. You want to go to your room or the couch?” Alaro asked. “To my bedroom…” Pico answered. Alaro took Pico to his room.
It was truly eye opening to watch. This little human struggle so much and by me not being able to make him feel better and take his pain away was absolutely terrifying for me. I couldn’t imagine the pain this journey has caused this family. It pulled on my heart strings, but more so because although I’ve donated to plenty of places, I’ve never had an in-depth experience with the places I’ve donated to. It’s like turning a blind eye still. I wasn’t actually experiencing the places, organizations, charities or the people, so although I would donate I was never emotionally involved. This changed everything for me. It completely changed my perception of my donations and I felt compelled to get more involved with them on a physical and emotional level.
“Anesha, your cooking was incredibly tasty tonight and I’m honored to have been invited to have dinner here. The night is young and I’m tremendously thankful for this experience.” I said humbly. Anesha smiled ear to ear. “Thank you, Izrik. I appreciate your words and I truly and wholeheartedly appreciate your generosity to my family. I cannot thank you enough. I’m forever in your debt, so if you need anymore dinners I’d happily cook for you, if you’ll have me of course. I mean, if there’s a Mrs then perhaps I can offer my finest desserts.” She said. “Wow! Well I truly appreciate your offer and no, there is no Mrs, so I’ve never been the one to turn down food, but you should know no pressure. I just really wanted to help without receiving anything in return.” I replied back to her.
Anesha just gazed into my eyes with this warm and inviting smile. She had these large angelic cat eyes and they lit up like the northern lights. It was as though they were sparkling and I’d be damned if she wasn’t an incredibly beautiful delight before my eyes. I have seen many women, but Anesha had this unique energetic field surrounding her. Her beauty radiated when she smiled I felt nothing but peace. She was gentle and kind hearted. I have to admit that I was smitten for her. I kind of felt like a school boy in her presence. Like an awkward school boy that is. Like, you know when you have all these really slick and cool things to say or talk about, but when you run into someone that shoves you out of your energetic field and you go blank? Yea, that’s me. She wrote these really appealing bohemian dresses that fit her personality. Am I still staring at her? Yep. With that dazed look and half grin I had as she went on about something, but I couldn’t gather. The way the light just peered through the window as the sun was going down. It created this orange glow on her smooth skin.
“Anesha, I know this may seem soon or forward, but you are quite a delight and I would be honored if I could take you out sometime?” I asked without even thinking about it, it just came out while she was in full conversation. A sense of anxiousness came over me, because for the first time in a significantly long time I am asking out a stranger on a whim and just like that. Of course I was hoping she would be just as excited as I was, but I didn’t want to expect anything. I felt sweat instantly form in my hairline around my forehead area. What is going on here? It’s been awhile since I felt an ounce of excitement for someone, but Anesha lit a fire within me I thought I put out a long time ago. I had all these thoughts in a matter of a few seconds awaiting her response. She stopped talking and with her mouth slightly opened and a grin appeared from within the opening of her mouth in what looked like a state of awe…
PART 2 CONTINUED…
“Oh Izrik… I would be delighted to go out with you.” Her eyes lit up and her cheeks exposed as they turned a rose hue. She sat back in her chair and her bright smile quickly turned into a frown and tears came strolling down her face. “I’m sorry, it’s just I haven’t been asked out in a long time, because I’ve been so busy with Pico. All my time and attention has really been dedicated to Pico and I just forgot what it feels like to feel excited and I’m sorry I’m crying, it’s just been a really tough time for the three of us.” She went on. She wiped away her tears. “Please don’t apologize to me, I actually envy your dedication to your family and it’s actually another reason why I just had an urge to ask you out tonight, well I mean I was interested in asking you out the moment my eyes landed on you at the ice cream stand, but figured it was too soon. What you’re doing is an attractive trait, really.” I said this to her hoping to reassure her. I could see a little smile peering through the pain she felt.
As she wiped away her tears with a napkin she started to stand up to attend to dinner dishes, so I stood up to help her. “Thank you. I count my blessings and am very grateful for so much in my life. With Pico falling ill, my entire life changed and I just wanted to live more and appreciate things more. Nothing is forever and we take our lives for granted.” She had said. “I understand. Truly. I am humbled by your drive, so please, allow me to show you a nice time.” We gathered up dinner and cleaned up. “Perhaps you’re available next Friday night?” I asked her. She set the dishes down into the sink and pulled out her phone. “This Friday? Well, let me take a look at my schedule. I’m doing a lot with Pico’s fundraiser, so excuse me if my life is in disarray.” She fumbled through her phone and I couldn’t help but to stare at her. I thought if I had blinked, she might disappear. Her aura was radiating and this glow seemed to create an inviting energetic field around her. She was humble and put thought into everything she does. You can tell who are the gentle natured people and she was just the right kind of kind.
“I’m attending a small fundraiser in the morning, but I’m free Friday afternoon!” She smiled and put her phone away. “That’s great! How does 2pm sound? I’ll pick you up and the place is going to be a surprise.” I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling butterflies, but I was really feeling them right this very moment. “2pm is perfect.” She smiled. Just then Alaro came into the room. “What did I miss? How was dinner? My apologies, it takes me a while to get Pico comfortable and give him his meds.” He expressed himself as if he was a terrible host, but I’ve never been more intrigued by a widowed single dad so tuned into his sick child. A lot of people aren’t built for this endurance with sick children, but this man just made it look effortless. This entire experience humbled me even more. “No need to worry, because Anesha has been a wonderful host too and I happened to ask if she would like to join me for dinner this coming Friday.” I didn’t think of it until I just said it, but what if Alaro doesn’t approve? I was so caught up in the moment, that I hadn’t thought to consider this man’s feelings. I mean, I know we are all adults, but he may very well feel a certain way about his sister, given that she’s all he has left. “Oh really?! Well now! That’s great news! I couldn’t ask for anyone better than you for a date with my sister. That is great. I’m just truly taken back by how everything is working out. I don’t consider myself a spiritual man, but the way things have simply orchestrated themselves into my life, the recent years have shown me that there is something bigger. I don’t mean to cut it short, but Pico isn’t feeling well and I must tend to his needs and make him feel comfortable. Anesha, would you mind seeing Izrik out? Thank you again, Izrik. I would love to do this again sometime.” Alaro headed up the stairs. “Yes, thank you for the invite!” I shouted gently back at him.
Anesha and I grabbed our things and headed out of the door. “Unfortunately, this is what Alaro’s life looks like more often than not. He doesn’t have much time for anything else. He lives and breathes for Pico and trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible. He doesn’t know how long he has or if he’ll be able to fight through it, but Alaro will not stop trying to help that boy and do everything he can for him. Sometimes I think to myself that I am unsure if I could do what Alaro does for Pico. He’s so understanding and attentive and he inspires me and my drive. Both Alaro and Pico are good souls and sometimes I feel like I am just not doing enough for him.” She wiped away more tears. “Hheeyy… I just met you, but you are doing more than a lot of people would do or capable of doing. I am glad to have met such an inspiration such as yourself and I look forward to learning more about you on our date Friday.” We hugged and off I went.
If I am being honest, I just couldn’t believe such a simple act by giving a complete stranger money would have led me to asking a woman out on a date. It’s not something I have really thought about and I still haven’t wrapped my head around how the universe works in such mysterious ways. There was this certainty that I remained unavailable for this phenomenon. My Grams would be happy to see that I have stepped out of the box and into the dating world. She only wanted the best for me and taught me well about allowing someone into my energetic space. A lot of people will abuse your energy and suck you dry vs those who are equally fulfilling in that department. I couldn’t wait to get together with Anesha. I couldn’t elaborate enough on her rare beauty. I just had a strong intuition about this girl. I just knew she was different from the rest of them and this week better fly by.
The week of course would start off so slow. Why does this happen? The things you want require patience and mine was certainly being tested. I spent the week preparing for my date. It was going to be casual, because it’s my belief that the first date shouldn’t be so over exaggerated. Fine dining really puts a lot of pressure on someone who isn’t living that lifestyle and quite frankly I prefer the ease of life, because I am not out to flash my riches. My success doesn’t need to be the highlight of my date. I would like for her to see how laid back I am and if she is the one then she won’t seek out the things about me and what I can provide, she will be interested in ME. But, of course I am excited to be able to provide for her and let her into my world. I mean, if she will have me of course. I wonder if she has the same interest as I do with her? I mean, she could just be trying to be nice by accepting my invite. Maybe she feels obligated to accept my invite? Oh no, am I worrying too much? My thoughts raced suddenly. I know I’m overthinking, but who doesn’t question everything about themselves before a big date? I mean I was feeling confident, but deep down inside I’m actually nervous!
I made it all week and today is the big day! I am starting out the morning by sitting outside to watch the sunrise and meditate. I am attracting abundance and manifesting for all to go really well today. The sky was clear, the weather was beautiful and it’s really working me up for my date. The sound of the waves crashing up against the beach is truly mesmerizing. My house isn’t authenticated by the HOA and therefore I have complete freedom to do as I please with my place. My grams bought it long before the HOA could rip people off and tell them how their house should look. I never understood how people would agree to having HOA. There certainly isn’t any freedom, just a bunch of people who think the same and therefore want to live under pressure and strict rules. My house fits my lifestyle that the HOA would certainly not have any of. I have really enjoyed the years of living here and watching my little house thrive. Grams planted fruit trees in the backyard. It looked like a mini magical forest back there. It smelled strong of homegrown sage. I often wonder what passer-byers think when they smell the strong aroma of sage. Quite frankly, I get a chuckle out of wondering.
I made my tea, turned on my ambient music and showered. I usually leave my large doors wide open when the weather is nice. It overlooks the ocean and no one has ever bothered me out here. To be honest, I don’t have anything worth stealing anyway, because again, I’m not a material kind of guy. Today, I am going to wear my white button-up beach shirt. It’s a long sleeve, but I like rolling them up and it’s breathable. I put on a pair of nice fitting khaki shorts and white casual sneakers for the win. I have no idea what Anesha is wearing, but by golly I hope our outfits collide. I cleaned up my facial hair, as I have been trying to grow a beard. It’s growing quite well and with my arm tattoos, I have really grown into my skin these days.
I kept looking at the clock as I prepared myself before my date. I plan on being a simple man today. Nothing too crazy or over the top. I have learned in my past relations, that it’s not what I want, but rather what the woman is comfortable with. Dates can make things complicated. We spend a lot of time planning and trying to make everything perfect. We are creatures of habit when trying to WOO a female. Men want to woo their females, but like all females, each one is looking for something different. Not every female wants the glitz and glamorous life, some want something that aligns with their vibration and their energetic field. Here I go again, over analyzing. I do this when I get nervous.
Anesha lived in a tiny cottage not too far from my house, so I left to pick her up. On my way there I could feel the butterflies in my stomach really turning over. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to puke or shit my brains out. Either way I was feeling rather uncomfortable the closer I reached her house. As I pulled up to her little cottage, she was already outside and watering her plants that she had hanging on her porch. I could see how green and full her plants looked and the saying goes, if you want to know what kind of a person someone is, just take a look at their plants and they’ll tell you all you need to know about someone.
She heard me pull in and turned right around with a big smile on her face instantly. If I wasn’t already feeling queasy, I suddenly felt like I could feel all my blood rush to my head. I may pass out. What is wrong with me? I slowly exited the car and took a big deep breath of fresh air. She came over as I tried to practice my breath work. “Hey Izrik! So good to see you.” She said so gleefully.
Continued…
As we leaned in to hug each other, her aroma circulated throughout my body. It was as if I could taste her with every breath. That’s not weird, is it? The smell alone was arousing and my nauseous feeling dissipated. A sweet lilac and vanilla scent lingered as the hug was broken. “You smell amazing! And you look incredibly beautiful! How do you radiate the way you do? You must teach me your secrets!” I playfully teased her. “She smiled this vibrant smile and pulled her hair behind her ear as she leaned her head to that same side. “Why thank you Izrik, you’re sweet! I’m just going to grab my things and I’ll be ready to go.” As she walked back towards the house, the sun glared just right on her left side and she looked like she was in someone’s memories in a movie. You know, the kind where the actor loses their beloved wife and they have flashback memories in the sunlight, smiling. She was wearing this long cream colored sleeveless bohemian dress. It had slits on the sides and it had a deep v-neck. It was beautiful. She was beautiful in it. I don’t think that men take their time to appreciate what a woman looks like or how much effort they put into something.
“OK, I’m ready!” When Anesha walked out I was already waiting with the door open. “Miss, after you.” As I grabbed her hand, and guided her into the passenger side of my car. I drove her to the beach, since I find the beach to be rather romantic. It’s a casual setting, relaxed and fun. What she doesn’t know is that I decided to make lunch for us as a last minute change of plans. As we parked, I opened her door and guided her out of my vehicle and I then went to the trunk of my car. I opened it up and grabbed this large picnic basket, a large bohemian blanket and my mini boom box. “Oh wow! Are you making a picnic for us?!” She said in excitement. “I sure am. I figured it would be fun and relaxing. Plus, when I was a young lady my grandma would take us on frequent “beach-nics, ” as she would call them. Those were really great memories I had and thought since I haven’t been on a beach-nic in a long time, that when I saw how perfect the weather was today, I thought it would be a great way to spend a first date.”
I grabbed her arm to help her walk through the sand. I brought us under a palm tree and laid out the blanket. “Ladies first.” I said to Anesha and helped her down since she was wearing a dress. “I brought a lot of goodies, so I hope you’ll be satisfied.” I took everything out of the basket and sort of tried to display it in an organized fashion. “Oh wow! You made all of this? This is incredible. You really went all out! I would have brought something to share, but I’m here empty handed!” She laughed. “Oh no, this was a last minute decision and something I really just wanted to do for you.” I grabbed out a bottle of non-alcoholic wine that was grown locally in Florida. “I like your style!” She giggled. “Haha, thank you. I feel like people really enjoy drinking to relax on dates, but I think it covers up someone’s true personality and disconnects them from reality. They can’t handle reality, so alcohol helps them sugar coat what they can’t or don’t want to handle. If they can’t handle situations sober, how are they able to cope with rational thoughts and honesty? That’s my opinion of course, but I like to see someone for who they are without liquid courage. I was hoping my dislike for alcohol wasn’t too obvious. “I couldn’t agree more. I have had my fair share of bad apples in my life where alcohol was a huge issue. These people wore masks when they were sober, but quickly turned for the worst when they drank. I don’t mind Marijuana and mushrooms, but anything else is a red flag for me.” She replied.
I wanted nothing else but to just stare at her. I felt that if I had looked away, that she might disappear. In that moment, just with her illuminating personality and presence, I wondered how I went through life not meeting people like her. How, that on all the earth, has everything seemed so boring before meeting her. Life seemed so bland before her. I thought I was LIVING, but the moment that I met her, everything just changed. “Now that we are done, would you like to go for a walk?” I asked her. “Absolutely!” She replied back with excitement. I gathered our things in the car, so that we could enjoy our walk without carrying anything. When I returned, we continued down the beach on our walk. I couldn’t help but admire the way that she walked. It was as if she was trying to walk through water, smooth and effortless. She was beautiful and as she talked about her life before her nephew got sick, I couldn’t help but lose myself in the sound of her voice. Her hair caught the light wind and her beach waves danced amongst the universe, as if the universe itself ran its hand through her hair. She had taken off her sandals to walk through the sand and I noticed she walked tip-toed through the warm sand. Her sunhat matched her dress and overall I may be a little over fascinated by this creature. She smiled and laughed at her own jokes and her smile absolutely melted my heart. Really though. I sort of stared through her at some point, because then I became lost at the thought of how I am with Anesha right this very moment in time. If I hadn’t done an act of kindness for someone, I wouldn’t be standing here with her right now. What are the odds?
“Aha! Here we are!” I pointed ahead for Anesha to look. “OH! Hahaha. Oh my goodness! It’s the ice cream stand where I first saw you! I was blabbing this entire time, I didn’t even notice where we were at.” She said excitedly. “I figured what would a first date be without showing up at the same place we met!” I replied to her. When we walked up to the counter, the owner took a double take at us.”Oohh! Hello you two! I see my ice cream brought you two together!” She laughed. “I guess you can say that!” I said. When we ordered our ice cream, we continued back up the beach. The sun was going down, so the sky had this really beautiful pinkish-orange glow to it again. It was a romantic setting and finally the temperature dropped just enough for it to be comfortable. “So, I thought we could sit and watch the sunset to end our night tonight. What do you say?” I asked her. “That sounds beautiful!” She said excitedly.
When we walked to my car to grab the blanket again, I noticed Anesha became a bit off energetically. As we walked back to the beach, I laid out the blanket and we sat. “Hey, are you ok?” I asked her. “Truthfully, I have been so hyper focused on my nephew, that it feels wrong that I am here with you right now and not with him, and in all honesty I am really enjoying my time with you, but it feels wrong. I haven’t had this much fun on a date in such a long time, that I almost forgot what it feels like to feel these kinds of feelings. I feel selfish, because I am trying to enjoy my time with you, but can’t help wondering how Pico is doing. I don’t know if I know how to really let anyone in. What if he needs me?” Tears came streaming down her face. In that moment her nurturing instinct kicked in and I just knew she was the one for me. Someone like this has a real and genuine heart for others. I see this deep profound love for her family and imagined being able to help her see that she can have the best of both worlds was going to be a task needing patience. “Anesha, I obviously haven’t known you very long, but I can’t help but notice just how amazing you are. This entire day, you being amazing has been on my mind. I think you are amazing at taking care of everyone else, but you seem to forget to nurture your own needs and reward yourself. You absolutely can have the best of both worlds. I will never be an inconvenience to you and I want you to know that with no obligations I want you to know I will be here as a friend, mentor or whatever you need me for. I think what you are doing for your nephew is rather noble. You have stopped living in your own world, so that you could make Pico’s better. I am a man of great patience and I am in no rush for anything. I will beat your drum, because the moment my eyes landed on you, I just knew there was something different about you and I wanted to be a part of that different world. Don’t beat yourself up. Take your time with your life choices. I do not want to impede your time you could be spending with your nephew. Perhaps you could find a way to step back a few hours just to reset and treat yourself for the sake of your mental and physical ebing. I think your nephew would want you to be happy and he would be happy knowing his aunt is happy and healthy.” I took her hand just then without even thinking. “I’m here, let me help you.” I said to her.
In an instant and without warning, Anesha leaned in quickly and kissed me and pulled away quickly. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry! I just felt an urge to kiss you after your sweet words.” She grabbed her head in surprise. I couldn’t believe it, but didn’t think too hard about it, because I stole a moment as we locked eyes and I grabbed her face so gently and leaned into her and kissed her back. Quite frankly, I’ve been thinking about kissing her the moment I saw her, but obviously she was a complete stranger to me at this time and then seemed delicate with all she had going on, so I wanted to be patient with my new rose bud. When I kissed her, this unrushed breath sent chills throughout my body. I could feel my hair stand up on my neck. Her lips were so soft. I almost forgot what it was like to feel something when I kiss someone. We forget to indulge in a kiss. Kisses grow to become something to do when leaving, but when was the last time you looked at your person and wanted to kiss them, not because you thought you had to, but really wanted to kiss them and live in that moment with locked lips. Her lips were big and pouty. I would be lying if I didn’t say this kiss aroused me. It’s been far too long since I felt another woman. She almost doesn’t feel real to me.
The kiss started to turn into little kisses, where the eyebrows start to squint, because the kiss feels so good, we just can’t stop. I can hear her breathing intensify and I sensed she wanted something more, and let me tell you, so did I. However, I’ve waited this long and I want to be sure Anesha is certain and not rushing into something she may regret. I don’t want to be anyone’s regret. Kissing her is causing me physical pain and I hope my excitement for her isn’t too obvious, but between her kiss, scent and this sunset, my mind has started to wander, so I gently broke the kiss. “I just want you to know, that’s it’s been a really long time for me and I became fond of you the moment my eyes landed on you, so I want to be sure you’re OK with taking things slow?” I know men are usually all in, dominating every situation, but Anesha was different. I can tell she has a kind and gentle soul and she needs proper handling. “I think that would be a good idea.” She whispered back to me. I gently grabbed her hand to hold it. “I’m really happy that I met you. I was in such a funk for awhile and there were times I wondered if life was real, because as I watched everyone around me seemingly going about laughing, having fun, and working, here I was, trying to help my nephew fight a battle no one knew about. It’s as if the world doesn’t care that this young, helpless and loving little boy was suffering so badly, while I watched people enjoying their lives without a worry or care, that I just couldn’t fathom what was real anymore. It’s hard to connect with people when you go through something as tough as this. It feels nice to be here with you, but a part of me feels like it’s not real.” Anesha had this look of worry in her eyes. I could tell she was genuinely concerned about her availability to her nephew and the authenticity of her connections. It must be truly hard to connect with anyone while watching a loved one’s health decline.
“Perhaps we should call it a night. Let me take you home?” I suggested. “I think that would be good.” She said. As I drove her back to her house, we had small talk. “So, what’s your zodiac sign?” She asked me. “My zodiac sign? Haha. I suppose they say I’m a Gemini. How about you?!” I grew interested in where this would go. “Gemini?! I can see that I suppose! Haha. You are very sweet and generous. As for me, I’m a Scorpio, so I am a bit shy, closed off, but loving and helpful. I Love zodiac signs, but sometimes I question their authenticity. I’m intrigued, but not convinced. Does that make sense? Haha.” She brushed her hair away from her face and smiled. “Yea, no. I am in total agreeance! I think what happens is that we try to categorize everyone and assume their personality traits, but the truth is, we can all relate with traits, especially as we grow or how childhood upbringing can change the dynamics of our personality. Our surroundings mold us, change us and allow us to learn and grow. So, I don’t believe we are subjected to these 12 traits as if they are the only ones that we are allowed to have. These signs do not dictate who we are or who we are to become. This is my opinion, but I understand humans want to know and have all the answers in life.” I explained to her. “Exactly. I find them intriguing and sometimes comparable, but all in all there is so much more to learn beyond the limits of the 12 zodiac signs and I think there’s a lot to learn from each other.” She went on.
When I pulled up to her house, I escorted her to her front door. Honestly, I was sweating bullets. I was hoping to see her again and usually first dates are a last date, even though I felt like we were vibing, things could inevitably change. I wanted to see her again. She makes me feel something I didn’t think existed anymore. My face hurts from smiling so much just thinking about her. I would enjoy just getting to know her, because I don’t want to rush into anything, make her uncomfortable and ruin what has the potential to become incredibly beautiful. “So, do you think I’ll see you again?” I nervously asked her. She looked at me with such kind and warm eyes and smiled. “I sure hope so.” She kissed my cheek, smiled at me and off she went into her house and that was it. All I could do was smile, because although I originally thought that I answered someone else’s prayer, I can see now that it was also answering one of mine. I really do hope to see her again…
©️ 2022 Riva Gijanto. All Rights Reserved. This is my hard work. Please do not steal, copy, recreate, manipulate or use it’s authenticity in any way.
Life with MissRiva 
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