SONGS that Inspired this story: “My Time” by KastomariN
My greatest love. I write this in complete defeat. I cry as I write to you what will be my last letter to you. I wished for the outcome to be different, but I suppose now is just not the time.
I wanted to love you with every ounce of my being. I wanted to show you what it would be liked to be loved from day one, to the last day. I wanted to be able to nestle into your arms on a cold breezy night and walk with our toes deep into the sand on a warm summer afternoon. I envisioned you and I spending long nights together and indulging in habits that create deep conversations as our energy collided and we become intensely engulfed into each other.
I wanted you. I wanted you so bad and I know with every part of me, that I could love you beyond what you’ve ever thought could be possible. You wouldn’t have ever had to wonder. You wouldn’t have ever felt alone, scared or bored again. You wouldn’t have ever felt the need to stay in a situation because your pride and ego made you stay. You would be so happy, we would be so happy.
I write to you this, because I cannot chase you anymore. I cannot convince you that I’m your light. I cannot convince you that I love you more than all that exists in our world and I will always have a love for you that will always remain within my soul. I will cherish your energy in my life. I’m forever grateful.
I love you too much to hang on. You’re busy in your life and I can no longer day dream about a life with you. I cannot bear another moment in my thoughts of us. As much as you lift me up, you tear me down as the ego gets in the way of what could have been.
As I wipe away my tears, I feel relieved. With you I feel unworthy of your love, but with myself I feel I’m safe and reassured. This is also my safe place. You need this time to find yourself. Your wounded child drowns in your needing to feel good enough, but don’t. The child in you is neglected and you’re trapped, even though you’ve been free all this time. I have shown you another way, but I can’t convince you enough to follow me.
Here I rest every thought of you. I will no longer go out of my way to turn up where I know you’ll be. I’m collapsing and setting you free. Although I’ll never forget you, I’ll never stop loving you, that I can no longer allow myself to be dragged along when you’re uncertain of yourself and your life path.
Thank you. You’ve been a gem in my life. You’ve been all the beautiful things I wish the whole world could be. Even through your darkest nights, I saw a true light under the mask you’ve been hiding under. I feel you. I sense you. I know you’re by my side when I think of you, but I want you to focus on yourself now. Focus on your greatness and your worth. Don’t settle, for you are of the highest quality and all that makes up the unique parts of the universe.
I truly wish for the absolute best for you. You deserve all the light and love the universe has to offer and I truly hope it finds you and engulfs its protective shield around you. I hope you laugh and smile, so that the world may fall in love with the light you radiate. I await your journey to captivate the world by storm, for you are an amazing light being and should never settle for the darkness that’s drawn to drain your light.
Farewell my Love, may the universe bless this encounter…
© 2021 Riva Gijanto All Rights Reserved.
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