๐๐ธ๐ท’๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ? ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ต๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท!โ๏ธ
“I don’t know what to do. I did not expect this, I did not ask for this and it took me by complete surprise. I don’t why this is happening, but what I do know is that I think about you every single day and I know without a doubt that I love you.”
SONGS that Inspired this story:
"Let Me In," Rezz & Fknsyd | "I Was Made For You," VINAI & Le Pedre
My love,
It just happened one day. In one moment my life had been completely turned over. I thought I was happy or that I thought I knew what happiness was. I thought I loved my spouse or thought that I knew what love was, but in all my life I’ve NEVER expected anything like this to happen to me. I tried to control myself. I tried to keep my distance. I tried not to look. I tried, but the more I resisted, it overtook my entire body and mindโฆ
The moment my eyes met yours and you smiled at me, it was over. Everything I knew was completely erased from my hard drive. Your vibrate personality, your beauty, your voice, all memorizing. I was captivated in that very moment and I don’t know why, but I really wanted more of your presence.
I want you so bad, but I’m in a situation I feel like I’m supposed to be dedicated to. I imagine us together and it kills me. I can’t stop these desires. I can’t stop these images of us together. They flow in like water in a river.
You made everything flip upside down for me. I can’t rest. I can’t eat. I can’t even think right since my encounter with you. What have you done to me? Why is this happening? I really thought my life was it, that I had made my choices that I thought I could be happy with, but changed everything.
I can’t be with you right now, but just know I want to do bad. I crave you and I often fight my urges to pursue you. I want you so bad, but I’m frightened. I feel like I’m emotionally cheating with thoughts of you. My karmic doesn’t deserve this, but my soul has never felt more at home until you.
I can feel you, even when you’re not around. You haunt my thoughts during the day and then in my dreams at night. I need you, even though I can’t have you. I love your attention, even though I may not act like I do. I’m not trying to be mean to you, it’s just I don’t know what to do, so it’s easier to do nothing.
The pain is unbearable. I am trying to avoid you and I’m so sorry. I have a lot of healing to do and a life I chose that’s not easy, but just know you have motivated me and opened my eyes in ways I never knew existed. Why is this happening?
I hope you won’t give up on me. I feel something within our connection. A new chapter and I understand if you need your space. I’m not clear about my feelings for you or to you. I love you in secret. I steal glances at you when you’re not looking. I try to avoid eye contact, because I know I’ll get lost and right now I need to be responsible and respectful to you and my karmic. I don’t want to cheat on my karmic. I’m not a cheater. I also don’t want to give you the wrong impression if I did want to cheat on my karmic with you. It wouldn’t be good for us. Please understand I’m traditional.
I miss you coming around. Where have you gone? You haven’t been coming around and I’m starting to feel the absence in my heart. I look for you. Every person I see I think it might be you, but they’re not. I’m always looking for you. I have looked your name up online and check your social media accounts without following you. I try to stay under the radar. I don’t want to be caught looking at you. I don’t want to give away that I’m secretly in love with you.
I wish we could be something more. I’m just trying to do the right thing and I’m so confused. I don’t want to hurt my karmic partner. We have a life together, but I’m not at my happiest. I need some time to figure myself out. I don’t have all the answers, but I just know that no matter how hard I try to forget you, to avoid you, to find distractions in other people, none of it works for very long.
I’m sorry for being hot and cold with you. I can’t function properly since I’ve connected with you. I’m restless and fighting with myself. I have no idea how to fix this. I have no idea what to do. I’ve been taught the opposite of what I’m experiencing. I want you so bad and every time you’re so close to me I just want to grab you and pull you into me. I imagine kissing you and I picture making love to you when I’m trying to have sex with my karmic. It’s torture. It makes me want you more.
I dream about you a lot. I don’t really dream, but since you I’ve been dreaming more. I dream of you and it makes me fall deeper for you. I know we’ve lived past lives together. I see it. I get snippets of memories of us together. I feel like I have known you my entire life. This connection is everything I’ve ever dreamed about and I thought I had it until I met you.
You bring me internal joy, even though I don’t show it well. Truth is, I want to be on my best behavior around you. I don’t want you to see my flaws. I don’t want you to see my pain. I can’t function around you properly. I have conversations in my head that I want to have with you, but when I see you I run blank. I shut down. When I’m feeling good and confident I am brave enough to manage a few words to you, but most days I’m convinced you’ll never give me a chance, therefore I convince myself not to put in extra effort. Sometimes I just act like I don’t care. I know I’m not as approachable sometimes either. I can’t help it, I’m fighting the urge inside of me not to want to sweep you off your feet and tell you that I’m absolutely in love with you. This is all so hard for me.
Please forgive me. Please don’t leave me. Don’t leave me spiritually. It can be our secret to love each other, because when I look into your eyes I see myself. I see my best friend, my lover, my Twin Flame. I love you so much, but it feels so wrong due to the circumstances. I am so jealous of other people that try to hit on you too. I can’t stand watching it, all these single good looking people. I sometimes resent you when you give them your attention and not me. Something I’m working on. I know people gravitate towards you, you’re amazing, why wouldn’t they? I just wish it were me, but I’m so hot and cold I’m sure you feel as though I’m not as approachable as the others. I envy the other people for being able to approach you. I don’t know why I chicken out.
You’re breathtaking and I continue to daydream about you. I do imagine you in my life and hope that whatever happens in my life, that the universe will keep you in it. I would like that. I would like for us to get to know each other more.
I love you with every ounce of my being. Please know that I am yours. I cannot break this bond. I cannot break this connection. My heart beats forward for you. One day when things align, I am always going to be here for you, but I may need a little reassurance from you. I want this. I want this so bad. Please give me time.
I love youโฆ
Truly Yours,
Your Divine Masculine
Life with MissRiva 
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