Falling Hard On A Full Moon

A breathless moment holds my lungs hostage as you enter the room. A sudden lost of vocabulary as the unspoken words squeeze my throat closed. My heart palpitations have me faint when you’re near and I burst into star dust when we chemically collide. I dream to feel your soul, touch your body and penetrate every fiber of your being. I’m lost in you, but with that I’ve found myself.

SONGS that Inspired this story:
“Saga” Blasterjaxx (feat Junior Funke) | “For All Time” Armin Van Burren | “Drug” Lucky Luke & Emie | “Take My Hand” Klaas, Freischwimmer & Scary | “Sun in Your Eyes” Above & Beyond | “Divino” Armin Van Buuren & Maor Levi (extended) | “Let Go” Deadmau5 ft Grabbitz | “Lifting You Higher” Armin Van Buuren & 900 Anthem | “Rember This” Markus Schulz | “Save You” Richard Durand & Christina Novelli | “Gold Dust” Markus Schulz | “Know You Before” Seven Lions & 1000 Faces  | “Paris” Else | “Tell Me Why” Armin Van Buuren ft Sarah Reeves (extended) | “Ave Maria” Haliene & Markus Schulz

The day started like any other day. I awoke to my cat insisting I feed him before my alarm even had the chance to wake me up. I laid in bed in my own thoughts, my cat proceeded to nudge his head into my head, headbutting me repeatedly until he realized I was in a daze. He then sat beside me and meowed. I had thought for sure he was telepathically trying to communicate with me as I gazed over at him. “Alright then, let’s go shall we?”

I entered my tiny kitchen in my long t-shirt and underwear. It was just me and my cat Athora that lived in this tiny house not too far from town. Athora followed me as I grabbed his food and to feed him. I then brushed my teeth, showered, made myself coffee and breakfast and headed to work in town. My job is mostly remote, but from time to time I go into the office to meet with my team members to talk about new upcoming projects for digital designs for magazines. I love my job and the people I work with.

I never really have any time to socialize and if I’m being honest I don’t really prefer it. I enjoy my time doing things by myself. I don’t have to please anyone, I don’t have to be anywhere at a certain time or be back by a certain time, it’s really quite simple. My colleagues try to get me to come out all the time, but I just can’t converse with drunk and incoherent people. It’s not my idea of fun. I’m more of a bookworm and a writer. I prefer my personal mental space.

As my colleagues were talking about this weekend’s events and outings, an idea popped in my head. I thought I could get with a local writers group or even perhaps join a meditation session being held in a cute secluded bungalow that was nicely tucked in the outskirts of the city. It seemed like such an usual phenomenon to be so beautiful. This meditation ashram I like to call it, is lit with singing bowls, wind chimes and everything you could imagine in such a visually and energetically pleasing setting.

 “Hey girl, you’re coming out with us, right?” My colleague asked. “Ummm… Yyeess?” I replied back with nervousness in my voice, afraid to be rejected if I rejected the invitation. “Great! We’ll see you at 8pm Friday night at the “Dance Trance” Club! And it’s going to be a FULL MOON!”

I wanted nothing more than to be socially deprived on the weekend. I enjoyed the peace in my life. There was no rush, no judgement, no time limit and no responsibility for anyone. I wandered back aimlessly to my office to finish putting together my needs for this project I’m working on. My job is amazing. I really enjoy writing and designing for websites and magazines. I create creative content and send it over to my team for publishing. It brings me joy.

As the day passed over, I gathered my things and left the office. I try to leave without anyone noticing me, because in reality we only meet up to go over our next project, get the preparations for it and go about our own business. My job brings me joy, but my life outside of work truly gets me excited. I love my down time, but I really enjoy a good thrill. 

There’s this awesome gun range close by and that’s where I go to practice self defense and kick back a bit. It’s a way to unleash the badass side of me, because people only know me as a nerdy bookworm. I really love holding my Glock 19. Something about its slightly ribbed handle in between both my hands really sends chills down my back. The sheer power in the recoil was just enough to penetrate some excitement as the bullets blasted through the barrel. There’s just something about target shooting that’s just an intense experience. I am certainly itching to unleash my excitement.


I ran home to feed Athora and to drop off my workload and got myself ready. I like to wear my lucky hat. It’s the only hat I own and I only like to wear it backwards. I consider myself an enlightened person with a carefree personality, but when it’s gun range day I like to dress the part and go all out. I put on my black Pink Floyd shirt that I’ve had since the 80’s, my black ripped jeans and of course my black combat boots. It feels good getting into character like in a movie. As much as I clean up nice, I like getting dirty too.

Heading to the range I thought to myself that I had been single for quite some time. A few years now, maybe longer. I haven’t kept track, because what’s the point? My last relationship was incredibly toxic and it took me far too long to realize it. I was trapped and manipulated to stay even though I was unhappy. I love where I am now. I live a very quiet and peaceful life. I do wonder if there is someone out there that’s peaceful and laid back like I am. Is there truly someone who would get me, love me and bring peace in a relationship? To be honest, these thoughts are quick, because they are usually followed by the uncertainty of it and therefore I just focus on me, and on the now.

When I drove up to the building that’s tucked off a side road from the main highway, it was relatively busy. The only thing I could think of was that there must be an event going on. I parked in the back and it was the only spot left and then headed in. I have a membership there and everyone knows me by name. “Yara! So good to see you again! It’s a little bit of a wait tonight. Apparently a Bachelor and Bachelorette party decided on a group session to be held here before they went their separate ways tonight.” Hakan was the owner, an older man with a big beard and a motorcycle collection behind the counter. He looked like a Hell’s Angel crossed with a viking. He is such a badass.

“OK, well how long is the wait?” I hesitantly asked. “It looks like they’ll be here for about an hour.” He said this with much sarcasm. He’s not a fan of large crowds, apparently they bring him flashbacks of a time he had a run in with a village raid during one of his deployments overseas. Although the two scenes are nothing alike, it’s the amount of people in an area that makes him squeamish. “Well, I’m already here so I’ll make the best of it and wait. Maybe you can entertain me for a while?” I asked him.

As Hakan showed me a few new products of his, I heard the door open behind me. “Hey Hakan! Good to see you my friend! Do you have any openings tonight? It looks packed outside! Business looks good for you tonight!” I heard this enthusiastic gentleman belt out from behind me. “Hey Arridan! Haven’t seen you in awhile! Where have you been?” Hakan seemed excited while conversing with this gentleman. “Well, away for work again, but I’ll be around for a little while, so I’m looking to sign up for a membership again.” Arridan then came up to the counter next to me. I stood there minding my own business looking at Hakan’s collection of antique guns and ammo. “It’s going to be about an hour wait tonight, Arridan. It’s basically a wedding party in there tonight.” Hakan explained. “Oh wow! Well, while I wait, do you mind showing me what new products I’ve missed since I’ve seen you last?” Arridan said with excitement. “Sure thing. Come over here my boy. I was just showing my dear friend, Yara, my collection!” Just as Hakan said that, I looked up to make room and Arridan and I met eyes. “Oh, well hello Yara, it is?” Arridan put his hand out to shake. “Yes! That’s right. Nice to meet you.” I said.

As we stood there and shook hands it was as if I was staring right into my very own soul. Like a mirror image of myself right before my eyes. A sudden captivity and we locked eyes and shook hands for what felt like an eternity. A drawn by uncomfortable feeling transcended throughout my body. I felt an instant attraction to this stranger and I’ll have you know that THAT hasn’t happened in a long time. “Nice to meet you.” I said to him. “The pleasure is really all mine.” He smirked. As a sudden cough from Hakan broke our trance, the three of us continued on about with his products.

After what seemed like only minutes, the wedding party started to leave. All the laughing, flirting and giggling as these strangers walked out with one another, for a brief moment I wondered if they were being authentic with one another or if they just like the attention they are getting. I think a lot of people are stuck on a lower frequency and can’t seem to surpass it and think they are truly in love, but aren’t. Maybe I’m just caught in their moment that doesn’t exist or won’t last long. Maybe the point is to just learn to live in the moment. My Mind wanders too often.

“Alright you two, you’re up!” Hakan gave us a wave to follow him into the range. He set both Arridan and I next to each other. After the wedding party had left, the building was empty. Personally, I love it when it’s empty. I don’t feel rushed to leave if I want to stay longer. “Well you’re all set. Enjoy your time here folks. See ya when you’re finished!” Hakan said as he walked away. I proceeded to put on my protective gear and got my Glock 19 ready. As I was prepping my readiness, I noticed out of my peripheral that Arridan was stealing glances at me. I could only think that as much as I was taken back by the encounter with him, I just didn’t want to entertain the idea and therefore I continued to ignore him for my own sake.


I held my Glock up and steady my aim. With a deep inhale and a long exhale I fired my first shot. I hit my target in between the eyes. I’ve gotten pretty good with my aim after all this time and am quite proud. This coming from a girl who couldn’t throw anything where I aimed to save my life. I was that uncoordinated. This however, coming to the range brought me insight about myself. For one, I was petrified of guns, so coming here and forcing myself to do something against my own fear has actually given me something else to live for. I’ve been entering new waves of accomplishments after living a life with trauma and in fear. I feel pretty damn good and quite frankly I am really enjoying where I’m at in life, because it’s taken me nearly my entire life to get here.

As I fired each shot, I noticed a synchronicity between mine and Arridan’s shots. As I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, I couldn’t help but notice our stance was even the same, but he did look rather attractive all in his masculinity. As I tried to refocus and shoot at opposite times as him, he took notice and glanced over at him yet again. I’m not entirely sure why I even bother noticing, but I’m trying to focus on what I came here for. As I smirked to Arridan trying to link up with my shots again, my eyes wandered at him again. I guess I’m more curious as to why he’s caught my curiosity. He was much taller than I and he was incredibly buff. I can tell he took fitness seriously, because it really showed. I set my gun down to  readjust myself for my next position and just looked over at Arridan for just a quick moment. OK OK, I think he’s attractive and I can’t stop looking over at him. It’s been awhile and it certainly doesn’t hurt to look, does it?

Ugh. As I’m just trying to nonchalantly look over at me, I caught his eyes again and accidently or instinctively checked him out while he was gazing over at me smiling. I feel like a child right now. What is wrong with me? It’s one thing to look, but to get caught checking someone out is embarrassing in my eyes and down right rude in my eyes. Why did I do that? He totally noticed that I checked him out too. 

I knelt down behind the table and shot my shots, hitting the target in the heart continuously until my mag ran out of bullets and stood up. “That’s one way to stop myself from getting distracted.” I said under my breath. “Is it really helping?” I heard this tiny voice from within my headphones. I looked beside me and there Arridan stood, towering over me. “Oh, I realize now that what I thought was my quiet thoughts out loud were indeed not quiet at all, because I’m wearing ear protection and what I said probably was louder than what I thought.” I said nervously. “Indeed it was.” Arridan chuckled. “I came over here, because I wanted to know if you would be interested in going out to dinner with me after the range tonight? I know it’s last minute, so if you have plans tonight then maybe another time?” Arridan had a lot of confidence. It was certainly attractive.

“Well actually I do have plans, but if I’m being honest I’m just not ready for any male figure in my life right now.” I said this bearing the words behind my teeth knowing I may regret everything I just said, but trying to stand my ground. “Hmm. Understandable then. I guess I shouldn’t bother asking for your number then either?” He said with a smile. “Arridan, thank you, but no thank you. Truly have a great night.” I gathered my things and headed for the door. “OK, fair enough. Take care my mysterious muse.” He said as I walked away. “Good night Hakan! Thank you for everything and I’ll see you soon!” Hakan looked at me and raised his eyebrow. “Good night Yaraaaa?” Hakan said as if he were confused as to why I hadn’t taken any of Arridans advances.

I got into my car and drove off. I felt pretty good denying Arridans advances, but also felt bad in a way, because had he not noticed that I was checking him out he may have not approached me in the first place. I couldn’t imagine what he was feeling when I denied him. It must have felt terrible. It’s hard for anyone to approach someone to ask them out, especially a stranger. Well, this happens, right? Ugh… he’s so cute though.

As the week went by, I found it hard to stay focused. Arridan was uncomfortably on my mind all week. Why? I’m guessing instincts, but I honestly thought it to be quite annoying. I’m simply trying to enjoy this new mental and emotional space of mine and I really don’t want any responsibility. I just really enjoy my freedom and I don’t think I want to sacrifice my single status for a really attractive guy. I need to find a way to let go of this idea of him that I’ve started fantasizing about. I mean what can he possibly bring me that I can’t provide for myself anyway? I think I’m doing quite well in not needing any guy ever again kind of life I’m living.

Friday strolled around and I was barely awake before my phone started blowing up. My kitty alarm had no chance on my crazy employees who obviously started their weekend already. “Are You ready for a wild weekend?! There’s been a change in plans! A full days worth of events today and we are hitting a different club tonight and it’s a surprise!” A text from our employee group chat read. I mean, they do go all out and they make it fun, but the nights end with going out to clubs and usually by that time I find some lame excuse to avoid going to clubs. Drunk incoherent babies aren’t my idea of fun. There’s just nothing like a drunk guy leaning all over you, telling you how incredibly beautiful you are. All the while they can’t make eye contact and as a matter fact they can’t make any contact at all. They stare off into space somewhere over your head. By this state I just assume they see multiple of me and the slurring of words I try to decipher and try to understand what language they are speaking. None of which I can actually understand. It’s not attractive, not in the least bit. I figure insecure drunk girls find this flattering though and eventually end the night with going home with these fools.


I rolled out of bed regretting every second of allowing myself to participate in such a wild weekend. Since it’s Friday, it’s a half day of work. We only work until lunch and will meetup for lunch together to start our weekend events. I can’t do this every weekend, but in order not to be bugged by my employees I’m taking one for the team this weekend.

We met up at a local Cafe called, “Tree of Life.” It’s an all vegan joint and it’s very popular amongst the town and tourists. It’s an upbeat Cafe and it’s quite the treat to eat at. As the clock struck 11am, I shut my computer down, got dressed and headed out. I can’t ever say no to food and I’m always hungry, so I wasted no time meeting up with my team members. “She made it! She actually came! Holy shit! We need to record this!” My team members were shocked to see me show. “Yea yea. I’m just here for the food, you know how it goes! Haha.” I replied back sarcastically. As we all came in, the ring leader went ahead and discussed what the rest of our day and night was going to look like and it was definitely going to be eventful.

We went about our day, checking off the list created for us one by one. From lunch, to laser tag, to escape rooms, to shopping for our night, to the arcade, I mean we were pretty busy and it was actually fun. It was the most fun I’ve had with humans in a long time and I was actually enjoying my day out. In the middle of my quiet life, there can still be genuine people just looking to let loose and enjoy the company of like minded people and I’m all for it. I’ve never laughed so hard until I cried in quite some time. We were all like children again. No drama, no rules, no time limit, just going with the flow and enjoying each other’s company.

As the day turned into night, our last stop was dinner before hitting the club. We all ate and then changed into our new wardrobe we had bought earlier. I have to admit, I was feeling pretty excited. My team members proved to be pretty cool and I felt comfortable at where I’m at in life just knowing I had pretty cool people in it. I bought this really cute black dress, it was sleeveless with a deep v-neck and it had slits up both sides of the legs. It was pretty sexy and I haven’t felt sexy in a really long time and let loose like this, so I decided to go all out. As my team members took turns changing, the hype from them was just awesome. They were blown away by everyone’s wardrobe, including mine. Hooting, hollering and whistling just filled our entire area. We all feel like models and the guys were feeling themselves too, but making the situation more fun by making fun of themselves by strutting and well being guys. We all just laughed. It was such a great show.

Someone on the team ordered us a limo bus to take to the club and I am all for it. We piled in and were greeted with club music, our personal bartenders and of course the bus had a dance floor. It was a 30 minutes drive and all 12 of us just danced. The lights looked like strobes and the music was already pulling us into our vibe. We were all just locked into this world I had no idea even existed until today. It was like suddenly falling into another parallel universe and suddenly the Matrix was home. 

The time flew by and we had arrived at the nightclub. It was massive. It was called, “The Bermuda Triangle.” Oh the irony. Everyone hooted in excitement as the bus pulled right up to the front. I have to be honest, but it felt like we were V.I.P pulling up to the front. Everyone in line just stared at us as we all made it off the bus and walked through the red carpet as security opened the velvet rope to my clan and gestured us to keep walking with a bow. We all headed in and just stood in awe at the sheer fact that this place looked far more massive inside than it did from the outside. The lights illuminated the ceiling, the walls and the floors. They were everywhere. It was packed in there, like a concert. The music echoed throughout the entire building. The boom from the music created cold chills I’ve never felt before. “WWOOOO!” One of the guys yelled from the top of his lungs and threw up his fist. “Let’s do this!” Another guy yells and off into the crowd they go.

Everyone seemed to hear break off and do their own thing and I was cool with that. I ventured through the crowd and made my way to the bar. I ordered some water and looked around. It seemed like everyone was in their own world and on something. The music kept beating and there were hundreds of people jumping up and down lost in the music. 

It wasn’t long before an intoxicated guy made his way over to me. This guy did a full on lean over my back and wrapped his arm around my neck as he tried to shimmy himself to one side and nearly took me off my stool. “Hheeyy.” He proceeded to try and talk to me although I couldn’t really understand what he was saying considering he was definitely on something and the music blaring in the background. “Can you please get off me.” I tried to say as I peeled back his fingers to push them off me. “Ahhhh, hahaha, playing hard to get now are we? Well, I’ve got all night.” No sooner than this guy got those words out of his mouth he tried to sit next to me in an open stool when suddenly I heard a very massive voice come from out of nowhere, “No you don’t.” Then suddenly I see the seat being taken right out from underneath this drunken mess of a guy and he just flopped right into the floor, completely knocked out cold. I see the stool being set back over the top of the drunk guy and another man sat down on it. “Well, I hope he won’t be a bother now to you Miss.” This man said. I looked up and couldn’t believe my eyes. “Arridan! Hhii! Fancy seeing you here!” I blurted out in excitement. “What brings you out to a club, Yara?” He asked with excitement. I can’t help but jump for joy inside that the universe would place us at the same place, at the same time and same day again. It was quite the treat.


“Well, I’m out with my colleagues this weekend. I haven’t been out with them since they’ve started this weekend bash thing, so I thought I would give it a go this weekend and so far it hasn’t been a disappointment.” I said with sheer excitement in my voice.

Just then a song came on that had me in my feels. “Cyberpunk, by Omnia.” “You look like you could really use a good dance, shall we?!” Arridan took note of my song interest and held out his hand to join him in a dance. I happily accepted and he guided us to the floor. He spun around to face me and grabbed my waist and pulled me into him. We both jumped up and down and he pushed me away to spin me around. I could see his bright eyes in the gleaming alienated light that flashed before us. He was in a dead stare into my eyes. I could feel my soul leaving my body and I wasn’t even on anything. It was as if our souls united and danced together. He smiled at me and it made me incredibly weak. I couldn’t understand why I felt so attracted to Arridan, but his touch was gentle and soft and his gaze was of someone I swear I’ve known for an eternity. Does he know something I don’t? 

Arridan certainly had the look of love in his eyes when he looked at me too. It was exciting. He brought me in close to him again and wrapped his arm around my waist. He was much taller than I and very muscular. You can tell he took his physical health seriously and it wasn’t going unnoticed. I leaned back over his arm and he swung me gently side to side. The lights and the music just gave me a different vibe and it felt like I was on another planet far off into the Abyss. Arridan just stared at me in awe. I think there was this mutual emotional understanding between our body and spirit. It was this intense array of energy that captivated each passing second and turned them into a lifetime. His touch was electrifying. My hairs stood up with every caress to my body. He slowly pulled me back up and our eyes locked. Our body’s meshed into one another and the music guided our souls to the end of the Abyss.

“Why does it feel like I’ve known you my entire life?” I whispered to Arridan. “Well, it’s because you have, my dear. Our souls have known each other for many lifetimes.” He said. “I knew I knew you the moment my eyes landed on your eyes.” He added. “It feels so unreal. Something you only hear about in fairytales.” I said. “Who do you think wrote those fairytales my love?” Arridan brought an unusual beauty to this moment. Something I’ve never seen before and Something he was truly living for. I felt like I was high, even though I hadn’t taken anything. Arridan could sense my sexuality. He ran his other hand down between my breasts and pushed me backward over his other arm once again. He then continued slowly all the way down to my vagina and started rubbing it. I wasn’t even mad. I was embracing this new euphoric feeling I’m drowning in suddenly. The people were so tight together and in their own world, no one else exists. Arridan and I were in our own world.

He continued to rub my labia and I could feel my nipples harden. I lifted my arms out above my head to fully embrace this new sensation and Arridan lifted one of my legs onto his and slowly moved over my panties to the side and he slid one of his fingers into my vagina. My mouth just dropped open and I stuck one of my fingers in my mouth in sheer pleasure. I had no idea what I was allowing to happen to me, but I’m the arms Arridan I felt safe and sexual. I was so aroused by him I could feel my vagina swell around his finger. Not a soul paid attention and it felt like slow-mo with Arridan. As he fingers me, I bring one of my hands down to caress my body and start to rub my clitoris as he fingers me. This intensified my climax and I orgasmed right there on the dance floor. I could Arridans penis fully erected up against my leg and my dirty thoughts just imagined him slipping it in, right there on the dance floor.

Arridan was observant and I could see he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. The music thud, the lights flickered and illuminated the room around us. I grabbed the top of his pants as if to send signals that I wanted more of him. I slowly unbuttoned his top button to his pants and started to rub my clitoris again. He grinned and reached for his zipper. The front of my dress was between two slits, so it provided coverage. We made eye contact and suddenly I could feel his warm penis entering my vagina. He grabbed my leg and pulled me in closer to him. I just let out a very loud and pleasurable yell. Suddenly the people around us just faded away. A bright light illuminated all around Arridan and I. He penis was far larger than I imagined. There’s no hiding now. He brought me back up and our eyes met once again. Both of my legs now wrapped around him and both of his arms wrapped around my waist. With every thrust of his hips it sent chills up my spin. He was like God the way he took over my body.

Arridan would thrust his hips and with every thrust was an orgasm I’ve never felt before. It was as though we were in the depths of the heavens. I leaned forward and kissed him. “Mmmmmm.” I can hear him say. I threw my head back and my long hair reached my ass. Arridan pulled my v-neck slit to each side of my breasts, exposing them. I have very sexy breasts and he enjoyed looking at them and caressing them. Suddenly the room started to slowly spin and it was as if we were both being lifted into the air. We both started to climax. Arridan leaned his head back and yelled and as I climaxed I moaned. My body trembled in orgasmic convulsions and Arridan dug his fingertips into my legs and we ascended into the night sky above us and the Full Moon lead the way. He grabbed the back of my head and kissed me a kiss I’ll never forget. Pure bliss. Serenity at our fingertips. A purpose found. A true fairytale amongst the stars. A unique experience no one will ever understand. No soul could grasp onto such an authentic experience.

“Let us go together now, my love. Let me show you a world that doesn’t exist on your planet. Let me remind you of who you are. Let me remind you that fairytales do exist. I want to show you what you’ve missed.” Arridan grabbed my hand.

All of a sudden a warm bright light engulfed my body and I felt nothing but love and peace in a place I’ve never been before. “Welcome home my love…”

© 2021 Riva Gijanto All Rights Reserved.

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