Why ALA (Attention, Love & Affection) is Important in a Relationship.

If you don’t have time to read, then listen!


Photo by Nycolle Suabya on Pexels.com

Whether you’re the person that’s lacking receiving ALA (attention, love & affection) from your loved one or you’re the one that’s lacking giving attention ALA to your loved one, it’s incredibly important to understand that receiving attention, love and affection is crucial to most humans on Earth.

We are all made up of love. However, you’ll change throughout life based on your upbringing by observing what love is like between your parents or partners or how society molds the idea of ALA for you. It can be hard to understand someone’s need for ALA if you’re just not that kind of human by default and it’s certainly not your fault.

It’s important to love the person you’re with. This doesn’t mean buying them things to make them happy, although buying things temporarily fills a hole we are missing when we aren’t receiving enough ALA, it’s just simply filling a void we really feel. Love shouldn’t stop after the honeymoon phase, nor should you have to chase your spouse for their ALA the entire time you’re together. Isn’t that exhausting? Knowing you’re with someone who you’re still constantly chasing for ALA? If it’s a one way street it’s the beginning to the end of that chase one day, because the person lacking ALA is bound to tap out emotionally.

If you feel like you’re chasing someone in your relationship for their attention, you may want to ask yourself why you’re still hanging on. The saying goes, “there’s more fish in the sea.” And while the fish in the actual sea is dwindling in today’s world, humans are overpopulating and there’s plenty more men and women that’ll align with your wants and needs, vs chasing someone you’re already in a relationship with.

Your love is always #1 priority. It’ll fuel your inspiration, motivation, it’ll heal wounds and create a part of life that you’ll actually enjoy. What’s the point of being in a relationship that lacks ALA? Ask yourself that right now? Don’t you want to feel loved? Don’t you want attention? Don’t you want affection? Don’t you want that to be a priority in your relationship? Life and jobs come and go, but a solid foundation where love always comes first and is a priority will always be there.

When you lose your ability to make love come first, you’re going to lose the person who really cared about you. Eventually, they’ll stop chasing you. When this happens don’t be surprised when the day comes where the universe will see and feel this sadness upon your unloved spouse and will grant them with other options more suited for them and their purpose. You see, love drives us. We accomplish so much when we are soaring through cloud 9. We are highly likely to succeed in many things and you’re a step closer to living your life’s purpose by learning, loving and growing.

You see, when you’re loved, you’ll love and vice-versa. Everyone around you will be able to see how happy you’re and FEEL how happy you are. You’re likely kinder, happier, nicer and more pleasant to be around and work around. This causes a chain reaction and nearly every person who gets to experience your euphoric aura, will benefit from it and it’ll make them happier and those around them happier. Get it now?

The thing is, is society gets in the way and pressures us to get to work, and on so many different levels. It ultimately keeps us distracted from the very one thing that’s the most important or WAS really important to us at one time. Without love, there would be pain and suffering. Love is the antidote to pain and suffering. Humans will dwindle without a form of love whether that be from your spouse, a pet, a friend, etc… we ultimately find something or someone to love and that loves us back.

So, how is this important to the now? Well, if you’re in a serious relationship whether you are loving or not, it’s important to know that no matter what society tells you about love, you shouldn’t feel as though you are stuck for the rest of your life with someone you thought you were going to commit to by signing a piece of paper or made a formal agreement to be in it no matter what, or until “death do us part.” This phrase actually scares me. Humans are inevitably changing and evolving, so why we would actually convince ourselves we have a life term obligation to be with one person for the rest of our lives is simply unrealistic. However, humans suffer from attachment and abandonment issues, therefore we often seek ways of making someone commit to us, simply just because we feel something for them at that time. Yes, it may very well be the greatest feeling, hence why we commit, but has anyone asked why we would rather suffer through an unhappy and unhealthy relationship? I am willing to bet it’s because you made a commitment, you’re worried about how your family will take it or you’re tied together in a way you can’t just pick up and leave. Other ideas suggest that often times we are scared of change and or don’t know we deserve better and often times settle so we don’t die alone. After all, no attention to toxic attention is better then actually being alone to a lot of people.

I cannot express to you enough that you deserve love. You deserve unconditional love, attention & affection and you shouldn’t ever feel like you’re suffering or in pain because this is lacking in your love life. You should know that this isn’t the end for you. Commitment is a man-made arrangement. There is definitely someone else out there for you that you’ll find you won’t ever have to wonder if they love you. There is absolutely someone out there that’ll water you with love, affection and attention and isn’t afraid to express those feelings towards you from day one until the last day you’re meant to be together, whether that means temporarily or until one of you departs from your body.

If you’re NOT the loving type, but are hanging onto a loving partner, it’s best to set your ego aside and allow this person to experience the love they truly deserve. It’s unfair to hang onto someone who doesn’t deserve to go through your pain and suffering or lack of attention, love and affection. Life is far too short to not experience the fullest with someone who’s more on your level with your wants and needs. Not everyone is all about love and that’s fine, but there are plenty of humans that quite literally thrive on it and prefer to have it in their short life time.

No matter what you hear about relationships, you need to stick to your intuition. Humans often take advice from other people’s ego’s. However, what we preach is often what we believe is true and therefore we ourselves truly believe no matter what, that we have to stay in situations we’re truly unhappy in. They haven’t experienced or discovered what it’s like to be in-love with a partner and keep that flame lit naturally and with little work. It’s OK, we think we know everything and we have all the answers. Don’t forget, humans only use 10% of their brain capacity, which literally means they don’t really know much about love and have no idea the potential to love. Even experts give advice based on what the majority of the population goes through and learns along the way. It’s not the only way and nor should it ever be. Professionals give limited advice based on what they know, which is hardly knowing about it at all when you compare it to just how much we use our brains. Get me?

If you’re not the loving type and not adaptable to your lovers needs, cut the cord and be done. You’re wasting valuable time for someone who could offer them exactly what they’ve been searching and hoping for. And believe me, it absolutely exists, but you don’t really hear many stories about it, why? Because a lot of people are staying in an unhappy relationships to prove their commitment to their spouse, family, friends and to the world. That’s why. Therefore, they never get to experience authentic attention, affection and love from the one that’s really meant for them in their lifetime. This is how we come up with the conclusions about love, based on other people’s experiences and the egos that press through the misery.

Also, relationships are a way for us to learn and grow. We are always learning and growing. This is a good time to learn about yourself and your wants and needs in a relationship. At some point when you’ve been through numerous karmic and soul mate relationships, you may find the one that was always meant to be your life partner, but you must learn many lessons in the relationships you experience. What did you learn in your previous relationship that you were able to take to your new relationship? Get me?

If you don’t love your partner the way they need, it’s likely you’ll see their one vibrant self dwindle. They also may be more likely to take compliments from other people, because it makes them feel special and loved, something you’re not doing for them. They may be more likely to cheat, because they too suffer from the ego wanting to stay in a committed relationship even though they have run dry emotionally. The need to feel something with someone else is a risk a lot of people take, because they want to feel love again and while you can try to reignite a flame, it’s very possibly your once loving spouse may not be able to come back from a full emotional drain. You may see them pull away and become an introvert in your relationship. They may not share things that bring them joy anymore. They may spend more money or buy things to fill the void of feeling empty. They may work more and find reasons to be away. They will do whatever they have to do to stay in this committed relationship, but they may have completely checked out emotionally.

Life really revolves around love. It’s how everything became about. If you neglect a plant and tell it it’s ugly and you hate it everyday, it too will dwindle. If you water a plant and tell it it’s pretty and it’s loved, it’ll flourish. A lot of us want to be loved and want to love equally and if you’re unhappy in a committed relationship, don’t ever feel obligated to stay committed in a man-made arrangement. Get out there. Your person exists and they are waiting for you! You just need the strength and courage to turn off the egos of others, tune out the world and focus on you. You came into the world alone and you’ll leave it alone. It’s best to realign yourself and focus on just you. Humans are always going to be judgmental and they really do think they know what’s best for us, but you must separate your ego from your conscious and allow your intuition to drive. Your path may not be rainbows and butterflies when making hard decisions, but again, it’s your path to walk, nobody else’s.

Get out there Tiger! Your real fairy-tale lover awaits you!

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