Lost in You

I always had a feeling, but I ignored every single sign the universe was trying to show me. I saw you, but never looked. I thought to myself, but never in depth. I wondered why, but never pursued the idea. I felt different, but never explored those feelings. I just thought, well, nothing. That’s what I allowed myself to do, was nothing. Thinking nothing of it. But, I get it NOW. I am understanding every piece to this puzzle like, “Ooohhh… I get it now.” Am I crazy? Of course not. It’s all a part of a greater picture being painted that I can’t see until it’s done. The only thing I can do is take one moment at a time. If you trust in the universe, it will show you many opportunities. You just have to listen and trust the process.

There’s some things I think I can explain, but there’s some things I can’t and with that I don’t understand. Sometimes I ignore vital signs. There’s something to this, but what? Do I already know? Am I choosing to ignore these vital signs? Is my ego getting in the way? Is society reshaping the way I think, the way I live and what deems my happiness?

I can’t explain it. I thought I’ve experienced all there was to experience when it came to being in love. But no, I would be proven very wrong. I can hear the universe laughing at me. Telling me that I have absolutely no clue about what should be felt. I have loved and I have felt loss. What deemed my loves as the one I love? What is felt in the moment is love, isn’t it? To an extent, yes. Is what we are feeling the end answer? No. Is there more to explore, feel, understand and grow from? Absolutely. We only use 10% of our brains and I know from deep within me, that we have a lot to learn about love. We are always growing and learning, but yet we choose to stay in relationships that hinder our greatness and bring the very best us, out. So many soulmate and karmic relationships, but all with a greater purpose. All to live and learn. All to experience all we need to become the very best we will need to be in order to attract “the final one.” The one that mirrors our self. A great reflection of everything we are, stand for and guide with helping hands towards the Devine’s ultimate purpose.

I tried to figure this out. Like a mathematical problem. I tried to dissect the situation like a science experiment. I spent countless nights restless. I see you. I feel you. I dream of you, but I just don’t understand why? Your energy is not from this time nor this place. It’s old, it’s safe, it’s comforting and protective. It’s beautiful, euphoric and incredibly intense. When you appear, your presence illuminates the pathway in which you walk on. At any given moment I feel as though I can burst into microscopic molecules and fill the universe with light it’s never yet seen before, or at least in a very long time.
My soul has been set free. My pain, my sorrow, my fears, my idea of what love is supposed to be and how it should feel. My breath becomes heavier with every inhale. My heart flutters with excitement as if an old car engine is being restarted. You’re like the air. You are the air I breathe. When you appear I feel inspired to take on the world. I’ve dusted off my dreams, because of you. I don’t feel so small and inadequate when you come around. I feel all my glory has been intensified. A mirror image of myself. A reflection of me. A unified feeling of intense intuition that for whatever the reason I may not understand, that you’ve been strategically placed in my life for a greater purpose.

My light has been relit. A flame that once drowned into others ideas of how I should feel. A feeling of defeat. A feeling of acceptance with my fate. A feeling of surrendering to something that no longer made me happy. A time I can’t explain, I can only feel it. It’s like an aura constantly circling me. I yearn for more of you. I wonder beyond my thoughts. I see you. I feel your energy through my veins. Your presence awakened my soul. My ears redden with warmth.

I remember you. From somewhere. From some place. From multiple places. From afar. From different times. On different missions. Your soul speaks to mine. An unspoken language is shared between us when we collide when we are near each other. It’s often hard to say hello or to speak at all. I’m left speechless. I shy away. I have so much to say, but can’t summon up the courage to talk. It’s hard to understand why I can’t speak. Is there something purposely holding me from getting anything out?

You have nothing to say either? Why? Is there something I’m missing? I see you. I notice you. I feel your presence. It illuminates my soul. I feel free and happy and if we were never meant to be, I could live the rest of my life knowing you’re a huge part of what makes my purpose more worth while. I love the energy. I love my thoughts of you. I love the intense feelings within me that I get when you enter the room. It reminds me of a special place that only I can remember.

When I dream of you, it’s us moving towards unity. It’s a reflection of what could be. It’s a reminder of our past lives together. It’s a reminder of our future and it’s a reminder of the pain we’ll endure in this very moment as the universe works on bringing us together. It’s like falling for the first time. It’s like an awakening you can’t deny. It’s a wonder you wish you could dive deeper into. It’s a risk you wish you had the strength to take. It’s building this unity into an empire and when the time is right, the universe will align for us to be together.

I know you feel it too, but you’re stuck in limbo. Your repetitive lifestyle has you living such a beautiful life you’ll never get to fully endure. Do you question your current lifestyle now? Do you wonder? Are you happy? Is your fire burning or are you living a lie? Are you confused? Concerned? Ready for change? What are your thoughts? Do you think of me? Do you imagine a life with me? Do you dream of me? Do you see us from past lives? Do you know our purpose together? Can you feel the energy between us?

I thought I had all the answers. I thought I knew based on what others have experienced and what “professionals” deemed normal and acceptable. I was told my dreams were fairytales, but to be honest living up to society’s standards of love, is incredibly exhausting. Religions, family, friends, they all play a vital role in our continuations of suffering through what makes us unhappy. All in which are completely irrelevant to our very existence before we no longer exist and eventually it’ll be like we’ve never existed at all. A time without understanding. An occurrence without questioning. Living in the moment, vs living a lie.

The emotional and uncontrollable urge to take a leap into the unknown for the sake of YOU and US without living the standard life that was essentially molded for us. It’s an all new awakening moment. A dive into the unconscious aspects of your brain that’s been hinder to ever be explored into depth.

I am lost in you. Something I never believed could ever happen. I heard stories, but was never a real believer. I have learned many lessons and experienced many opportunities, but none of which emotionally prepared me for this. For the first time, I actually said “what the hell?” I became lost in thoughts. I was surely uncertain. I questioned my actually existence at one point. My soul kept jumping out of my body uncontrollably. It’s like your internal being screaming “go for it,” but life telling you to take a back seat and behave. It’s like waving the finest chocolate in your face, but telling you that you can’t have it because you need to lose weight. My entire being awaits for you to notice me. It awaits for your soul to make the connection with mine. It awaits to reignite a soul contract and pursue a destiny that we already agreed upon prior to our birth on Earth.

You’re the Yang to my Yin. My Twin Flame. My other half. My forever then, forever now and forever forever. When you’re near, it’s like our souls merge into one. They share a private dance that our bodies try to keep us from pursuing our deepest desires. I see you from afar. You see me from afar too. You glance my way. I glance your way. Our body language and telepathic intuition mingle with each other while our bodies suffer from ever being able to touch. Our eyes meet often. They seek for signs and answers. They say hello. They tell each other, “I love you,” and “I want you.”

We’ll never be. Not in this life. You’re prideful and I’m fearful. Instead, you’ll peer at me from over there and I’ll peer at you from over here. We’ll always wonder what could have become of this connection. The connection that should have been, could have been, but will never be. For now, I set you free into the universe in which you came from. Your energetic chemistry mixed within my own, you’ll always be a part of me. You’ve mirrored myself and I’ve learned a lot from your presence in such a short time. You’ll always be my Devine soul’s purpose and even though we’ve already spoke about our destiny on Earth, that our destiny isn’t going to be us being together as life partners, but more as learning lessons we need to learn for our next life together. We can’t always be together every life time, but when we find each other and we absorb the tools we give to each other and take those tools and utilize them for ourselves.

It hurts to see you. It hurts to be near you the more I’m around you. The love and pain are intense. Our souls wanting to merge into one another. Wondering why our ego’s can’t let go so that we can get lost in one another in a blissful energetic fairytale. I long to get lost in you. Intertwine with the depths of your energy. Explode with the friction that is caused by our universal molecules combining and combusting with even just a fraction of a moment alone with you. A feeling of being weak in the knees and passing out. An inner outer body experience leads us into the center of the abyss. It’s only our bodies that keep our inner energies from colliding into one mirroring energy form. With us anything is possible. We were destined. A life without you seems like torture, but as long as I get to see you and be with you in my dreams I have everything I could wish for. For a Devine feeling. For a pure connection. To feel something I cannot explain and for once don’t need to. To be lost in you, with you and only you is all that I could ever hope for.

I await for you my love. I await our union. I await for the flame to set fire and engulf our energies into an eternity of universal bliss. I know you know. It’s OK to be scared. Let me help guide you. Take my hand. We can leap into the abyss together. Our destiny awaits. The universe is counting on us. As other life times, we have a lot to accomplish in this life. With you by my side anything is possible. Your light is vibrate and fulfilled with a deep meaning. We will conquer what we were set here to do. Let me douse you in unconditional love. A love so pure and unified it only reaches its perfection when aligned with their Twin Flame. Let’s set aside our egos and surrender. Nothing can break the bond of what was meant to be made for one another.

I’m forever lost in you, my love… and I await for our union to close where we walk into our destiny hand and hand…

Copyright ©️ 2020 lifewithmissriva

Songs that inspired this story:

Jason & The Seven Lions, “Know you Before.”
Natalie Taylor, “Surrender.”
Skyrux, “If You.”
Miley Cyrus, “Prisoner.”