Fight for Her ( Tug-a-War )

Chapter 4 ( 4 of 5 )

“It takes becoming broken in order to analyze all the pieces needing to be put back together.” -MissRiva

Astara felt slightly uneasy and sick to her stomach. After all, she had been mentally preparing for her next encounter with Skylar. She planned to ask him about his relationship status. She needed to know, because it was eating her alive inside. Her mental and emotional health came crashing down as she battled knowing if Skylar felt the same about her and how she was going to gain the courage to leave Chandler. She had to leave Chandler. She knew she needed strength to go through with ending things with him.

The moment she thought about Chandler, she grew more ill. A different kind of ill. The kind where your body fills with fear as if the outcome of something may cause you to lose your life. Fear of dying. Fear of losing a life you really haven’t gotten to live to the fullest. This fear made Astara’s knees weak. She became lightheaded and sat down to have a rest at her desk. She dosed off in a day dream, thinking about the ending to all of this chaos. The kind of ending where Astara was running through a field with a massive tree with purple flowers and overlooking a steep cliff that lead to an endless ocean. She had invited Skylar into her mental safe place. The place Astara goes when under severe stress or sadness. This place brings her a tremendous amount of joy. It’s peaceful here. She can hear the waves crashing into the cliffs down below and the wind rustling in the tall weeds she’s running through. Her hands are out and she’s running them through the weeds. In the distance Skylar awaits for her. He’s smiling at her with the heartfelt joy that he feels when he sees her. You can see the look in his eyes that he’s deeply in love with her. It’s as though he is envisioning her in slow-mo, just so that he can enjoy every moment of her running to him.

“Excuse me, Astara?” Astara hears this tiny intrusive voice in the background. Astara ignores the voice and just as she reached Skylar to leap into his arms, there it was again. “HELLOOOOO? Astara!” The voice grew louder and angrier. Just then Astara snaps out of her deep and intense day dream to find Chandler standing over the top of her with pure madness in his eyes. “ASTARA!” He yelled at her in front of her customers. He swipes the side of his hair as it had fell into his face when he yelled. “Baby, are you OK?” He said to her in a calm voice. “You’ve been acting strange lately and now I catch you day dreaming.” Chandler continued on.
All Astara could do was stare at him. For one, she was extremely shocked to even see him there at her work, because he’s always gone or in meetings. “I was coming to bring you lunch, are you hungry?” Chandler looked around trying to win over the audience he had gotten the attention of when he yelled at Astara. “Awe, what a surprise, thank you.” Astara said while pushing through a fake smile. “I thought that you and I could go on date later?” Chandler had spoke as if Astara really didn’t have a choice. Astara wanted so bad to say no. Suddenly she stood up and yelled, “Chandler, leave! I don’t want you in my life anymore!” as she pointed to the door. “Get out of my life you selfish, loveless jerk.” Just then she heard the door bell chime and she snapped out of yet another day dream of her confidently telling Chandler to get the heck out of her life.

The customer walking in was Skylar. Just in that moment instead of Astara being able to greet her customer, Skylar met the eyes of Chandler. “Good morning, Astara.” Skylar said as he kept walking through before looking directly at her. Astara’s heart just stopped. For a moment she couldn’t even inhale a simple breathe. It was as if she had forgotten how to breathe or that someone had forcefully expelled oxygen from her body. She completely froze. “Got a staring problem?” Chandler snarled as he watched Skylar walk on. Skylar couldn’t hear him, because Chandler wasn’t loud enough. “Did you see the way that guy looked at you?” Chandler was apparently on fire today. “Take a picture dude.” He said sarcastically. Astara just rolled her eyes and sighed. In a way, the thought of Skylar actually challenging Chandler in a brief staring contest before adjusting his stare towards Astara.

“Chandler, thank you for bringing me food, but I’m quite busy and need to get back to work. See you when I get home?” Astara’s stress was getting the best of her. It was as if both worlds she’d been living in came crashing into one another and caused an explosion. “Really? OK then. I have some stuff to do anyway, so I’ll catch you later for our date?” As Chandler kissed the side of Astara’s face and tapped her desk on the way out. Astara sunk back into her chair and put her head in her hand with relief. As she took a few breathes, she realized she was holding back tears as racing thoughts about her relationship with Chandler made her incredibly sad. She played all his mental abuse that he causes her and then how he tries to make up for every time he beats her down. Her emotional distress was on the rise and she knew she needed to free herself soon or she would completely collapse.

Astara took her last deep breathe before she opened her eyes. When she did, she looked up and caught the eyes of Skylar looking directly at her. He was sitting in his usual spot, leg crossed over the other where his left ankle was resting on his right knee. He had his right index and middle finger pressed up against the side of his face at his temple and eye and his elbow rested on the arm of the chair. He was very concentrated on Astara, but when she caught him looking at her, he quickly readjusted himself and looked away. Astara felt vulnerable and embarrassed. She stood up and gathered herself before she pressed on with her daily tasks.

As Astara made her way around and all the meanwhile trying to avoid looking at Skylar, she checked on a few of her customers to keep her mind off of things. Before she knew it the lunch hour was coming to an end. She gathered her push cart and made her way back to her desk to farewell her regulars and a few newbies. As they left, she saw Skylar making his way to the door. He was walking rather slower than normal and made his stop at the table again to grab his things from his bag. Just as Astara was about to say good-bye to Skylar, Skylar started to walk up to her. “Hey, Astara! I was wondering if you had, “Twinflame Reunion here?” He said with genuine interest. “Hi Skylar!” She said with over excitement. Skylars presence seemed to bring her a sense of calm. “Well, let me take a look in the data base for you here in my computer.” Astara searched her computer for the book. “I’m showing here we do have it! There’s one here right now. Here, let me take you.” Astara guided Skylar down section “T”. It was in the far back corner. The letters that came last were all back. Section T literally split like a T too. The end of that section veered off left and right. A dead end on both sides. As Astara led Skylar into the isle, she took the left and down towards the end. She couldn’t really say anything, because her nerves had taken over her body.

“OK, let me see. It should be here.” As she fumbled through the books with her fingers sliding down the titles to the books, when suddenly out of her peripheral she saw to hands on each side of her press up against the books around her. She stood there for what seemed like forever. Her heart began to race. She could feel her blood pulsating throughout her body. What was Skylar doing? Astara slowly turned around to face Skylar. Astara looked up into Skylar’s bright blue eyes. Her heart dropped to her toes and the sensation of passing out overwhelmed her entire body. It was all but a split second and Skylar leaned in towards her very slowly and with patience and uncertainty. When he got closer to her face, he gently grabbed her face and caressed her cheek with his thumb. Skylar looking deep into Astara’s eyes and quickly closed the space between them and locking lips with Astara. The kiss was intense and long. Astara in complete shock knew she should pull away, but instead she grabbed onto shirt and mashed herself into him pulling him closer, completely letting loose of her emotions. Skylar made little quiet moans of pleasure as he passionately kissed her. Their hearts beat so hard wrapped up into each other that they could hear each other’s heart beat into each other’s chest.

The kiss produced so much excitement, it was causing Astara to become lightheaded. It was euphoric and something she’s never experienced before. Her ears were hot, her body became weak and it was as though she could feel the blood flow throughout her body. Skylar wrapped his right arm around Astara’s back, driving her into him even further. Their connection was like the Ying and the Yang of cosmetic energy igniting from a spark and bursting into tiny energetic molecules that radiated around their aura they’ve created. As if the kiss couldn’t have grown anymore intense the books around them started to fall off the shelves. Skylar really respected Astara, so he took his time kissing her. When they released the magnetic kiss to grasp for air, Skylar began to kiss the left side of Astara’s face and with every kiss he went further down to her neck. Astara held the back of his head with her right hand, fully allowing the experience to engulf her feels. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She could see the stars she always wondered if existed when two of Ying and Yang energy forms collided.

“Ahem!” An intrusive voice could be overheard over the electromagnetic pulses running through their bodies. A snap back into reality brought the intense moment to a screeching halt so abruptly. “Excuse me! Are you kidding me right now? You’re kidding me, right? This is a joke? This has got to be a joke! I forgot to bring you your drink with lunch, but clearly by this behavior your definition of thirsty has a whole new meaning.” As Astara came to from her intense fairytale and wondered for a split second what was happening and where she even was, she could hear the intrusive voice muffled before it grew louder. “You won’t speak to her that way.” Astara heard this deep defending voice as she became more conscious. “Who the hell are you man? And what are you doing with MY girlfriend? Get your hands off of her! ASTARA! What are you doing? Speak now, woman! I demand an answer!” Skylar guided a dazed Astara behind him, protecting her from Chandler, the enraged boyfriend. “Leave, Chandler. It’s over. You will not hurt Astara anymore. Your time is up. You never deserved her.” Skylar said with a dominate snare. His voice engulfed and protracted the entire section. It was as if the everything around them rattled and vibrated. Skylar’s energy was intense and high. He was determined to keep Chandler away from her. “If you don’t get out of the way, then I’m going to make you get out of the way!” Chandler shouted. Chandler tried to grab Astara out from behind Skylar, but that was his biggest mistake he could have ever made. As Chandler tried to grab Astara’s hand from behind Skylar, but did a last second detour and went for the opportunity to punch Skylar. Skylar was already preparing for Chandlers switch and punched the right side of Chandler head with his left hand before Chandler even had the chance. One blow caused Chandler to bash his head into the book shelving, causing the entire shelf to dismantle. The blow to his head knocked Chandler out.

Skylar then turned to Astara and put both hands on her arms and looking for a sign she was OK as she became conscious. “Astara, are you OK?” You could tell Skylar was a bit nervous about Astaras reaction. “What happened? What’s going on?” As Astara looked around. “Oh my gosh! What have I done?” As Astara saw Chandler passed out on the floor. “What have you done? I didn’t mean for this to happen! Oh my Gosh! This is all my fault!” Astara dropped down to her knees to check on Chandler. “Skylar, please leave. You nor I deserve this right now.” Astara fought back tears. “Please don’t tell me what I deserve, Astara. It’s just that…” Skylar wanted to finish what he had to say, but he realized that that moment was gone now. OK. I’ll give you what you want.” As Skylar kneeled down to assist helping Chandler. After all, Skylar was a gentle giant. “I don’t need your help, Skylar. Please just go.” Astara said with a soft voice. “OK, Astara.” Skylar said softly back to her. As he started to walk away from her, he stopped. Skylar turned his head to the side as to not look directly at her since his back was facing Astara. “I’ll do anything to protect you, Astara. You would never wonder or feel fear ever again with me.” Astara felt the beauty behind his words and tears began to roll down her face. Skylar took a deep breath and continued walking on.

“Chandler! Wake up! Chandler? WAKEUP!” Astara grew worried as she became frantic that Chandler was in this state. “Mmmmm.” A tiny painful groan came from Chandler. “Chandler, can you hear me?” Astara said frantically. “Where am I?” Chandler groaned as he lifted his arm up to hold his head. Astara didn’t answer and was just relieved that Chandler was responding. “What were you thinking, Astara?” Chandler grew angry as he became conscious. “How could you do this to me? I’ve given you everything? I pay for everything! I take care of you!” Chandler sat up still holding his head. “I saved you, Astara. I wanted to provide for us. I wanted us to have a future and get married and this is how you repay me? You realize you’re nothing without me. You have nothing. You have no one.” Astara went from being concerned to having a realization that Chandler was wrong about her. “You know something, Chandler? I’m worth far more to someone else than you try to convince me of my worth.” Astara stood up. “I’m going to be someone’s entire world. I have a lot to offer someone. I’m talented. I’m funny. I’m loving and I’m kind. I work hard and I play hard. I’m inspiring and positive and these are all the traits that I love about myself and that other people love about me too!” Astara raised her voice behind her teeth. “It’s you who brought me down and actually made me believe I was worthless and everything I enjoyed was a complete joke. Well I have something to say to you, Chandler. I’ve been dying to say this to you for years! I hate you! You’re are an egotistical, arrogant, manipulative and a controlling asshole!” Astara stood there and readjusted herself with confidence. “Chandler, we are done. I’m done with you. I’m done living a lie. I’m done with the façade of being happy when I’m in terrible pain. I’m done with your manipulation. I’m done with feeling worthless. I’m done setting my kids and passions aside to be the woman that YOU want me to be. I’m done not feeling good enough. I’m fine competing with your ego. I’m done with you.”
Astara stepped over Chandler as she started to walk off Chandler continued to say smart remarks, as if he hadn’t heard a thing Astara said to him. It Became more clear that his ego was far too big to accept that Astara wasn’t happy with him. “You’ll be back! You are nothing without me! I’m Chandler, no one leaves Chandler! I know everyone. They’ll be watching you!” Astara kept walking away. She returned to her desk and awaited the rest of her customers to leave, including Chandler, so that she could close the shop. As her customers left, they gave her a thumbs up. As if to tell her that her scene was well played. Apparently, the customers that were left heard all the commotion. It dawned on Astara that maybe to a lot of people Chandler was indeed a jerk, but she was blinded by his generosity and by the fact that everyone else seemed to find him to be an incredible and successful guy. She had had it all wrong from the start. He wasn’t to Astara who he portrayed to the people around him. She continued her thoughts. Her nerves were all over the place. She waited anxiously for Chandler to leave, because by now he was the only one left in the store.

After some time had passed and Chandler hadn’t come to the front door, she grew concerned and fearful. She didn’t know what to expect from him at this point. She made her way back to the “T” section and slowly peeked around the corner. “Chandler?” Astara said with concern and fear. She didn’t see anyone. “CHANDLER?” She yelled throughout the store. Astara grew incredibly fearful that he was hiding some where in the store. “CHANDLER! Are you still in here? You need to leave now, I’m closing the shop!” Astara’s shop was silent. Astara started to pick up the books and put them back up on the shelves. She fixed and readjusted the shelf that had fallen down from the fight. As she zoned out putting the books away, the last book that remained on the floor was, “Twinflame Reunion.” “That’s ironic.” She thought. She decided to hold onto the book, because in that moment it reminded her of Skylar and she wanted to know what the book was about and why Skylar was interested in it. She grabbed the book and checked all the isles to be sure they were empty of customers. When she checked down isle “F” she noticed the window was propped open. “Chandler.” She said under her breath. She closed the window, shut down the shop and exited the shop.

Astara gained a sense of eyes watching her. Her hairs stood up on her arms. She grew nervous walking through the parking lot by herself, especially after todays event. She tried to pick up her pace and get to her car, but her fear became reality when she jumped into her car thinking she was safe, but as she closed the door an intruder jumped into the doorway to prevent her from closing it. “AAAHHH!” Astara screamed with fright. The intruder, dressed in all dark clothing and wearing a mask fought with Astara trying to close the door. She screamed for help, but unfortunately most of the town was already closed, so no one could hear her screams. As the intruder tried to force their way into her car, Astara feared for her life. Adrenaline shot through her body and she kicked the intruder as hard as she could. He fell back just enough for her to slam her door shut and locked it. She reached for her phone to call for help as she sped away in her white electric Kia Soul. “Oh no!” Astara yelled aloud. Her phone was dead. “Go figure!” Astara scrimmaged through her bag for a charger when she came across a piece of paper that looked like a note in her purse. “What’s this?” She tries to juggle plugging in her phone and then trying to read the paper. It’s dark out, so it’s hard to read. She wants to pull over but she’s too afraid. Instead she drives to the police station to file a report.

When Astara arrived at the station, she sat in her car for a moment to read the unusual piece of paper she found in her purse. As she started to read the paper she began to tear up. Her tears quickly turned into sobs. She sat their, but couldn’t manage to get out. She was confused by what she was reading. Astara felt a satisfying sensation throughout her body. She suddenly wasn’t scared anymore. Instead, she felt incredibly overjoyed.

The note read:…

Chapter 5 to be continued November, 17th.

Songs that inspired this story:
John Legend “Minefields”
Missio “I See You”
Serhat Dermus “Falling Deeper”
Jason Ross “Known You Before”
Natalie Taylor “Surrender”
Labrinth “No Ordinary”
Awakened “Let Go”
Seantonio “Imaginary Dreams”
Lindsey Stirling “Til The Lights Go Out”
Acakia “Last Mistake”
Harrison Storm “Feeling You”
Halsey “Eyes Closed”

Copyright ©️ 2020 Lifewithmissriva

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